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Newspaper Archive of
Shelton Mason County Journal
Shelton, Washington
January 13, 2022     Shelton Mason County Journal
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January 13, 2022
 
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On'IheGo: Stretching the-definition of ‘trail’ 1* continued from page A-12 Lowlife versus no‘life A few brief words of assurance for those of you thinking “On the Trail” has gone off the rails. That’s not the case. But a bit of stretching is in order. I’m stretch- ing the definition of “trail” to include roads, highways and neighborhood streets from now on. I need more room to roam or I will start to repeat myself. (Thus the shift to "‘On the Ga”) , And I’m also stretching one of my major themes, waterfalls, to include water in all its meanings and forms. This week we’re swimming, so to speak, in liquids of distilled and fer- mented powers. . , - ‘Thanks to COVID (a word I hate and a reality that won’t go away, .. like that'ann‘oying kid at camp who keeps hitting you and shouting “Tag!” long after the game is over) my life resembles a scrambled egg as I grope daily on a shifting surface of laws, rules, mandates, judgment calls and gut-check intuitions. I no longer listen to any news from any source. Happier? Yes. But new I’m getting caught in lots of road closures. “Mask on, mask off,” like I’m do- ing the drill from “Karate Kid.” Any day I’m going to hear that my boost- er needs another booster. . In addition to being 80% home- .bound since that Chiefs-49ers Super ‘Bowl, I keep going places that ei- ther aren’t open anymore, are closed 3 three days a week, or whatever you ’Wafit is out of stock. ‘ The'Mayans were right, you know. Only off by a few years. This is the reckoning. Not some time in ,thefuture. Right now. This is when ‘it all plays out. It will never go back to the way it was, never.So why restrict your fun-loving, wild-man- of—the—waterfalls guy from having a dive bar adventure now and then? The planetary doo-doo’s already‘hit the fan; I’m just trying to get a drink before the whole world is covered brown. Takinga dive As it stands, the term “dive bar” carries connotations of a 'dungy, dirty and dilapidated destination, the kind of dark, dreary place you pass by but never consider going into. Well, as they say for-so many sub- jects these days —- time to change the narrative. ' As" a traveler, dive bars are of im- mense interest. Likely they are the older, more authentic watering holes V and gathering plaées in a small town. Like the little local history museum, they are full of stories. You will find stories in old phatos framed and mounted on the walls, as well as sto- ries claimed and mouthed by self-ap- pointed bar stool scribes. , Dive bars display true, unapolo- getic character; This, in fact, is, the key defining element of a real dive bar. Fake places slap up a bunch} of barn wood and call themselves rustic. Or plaster ’80s posters of Hulk Hogan and call themselves grunge. Or mount a million We and pretend to be a sports bar. ' Sorry, you don’t slap on a theme. \A true dive bar grows organically. It springs‘from the soil, the jobs, the lives of those who lived there when at first the bar arrived. The wood grain on the barghas a story, a place you can trace it .to. The stools might be wrought iron, forged nearby. Some- body’s antique fishing rod and creel, ‘they were mounted next to the bee- hive over the door for some specific reason. Here’s where the dive bar is at its best. When donors love owners, the memorabilia flourishes. Now your bartender becomes a curator, explain- ing to the 30-something Seattle hip- sters that the mounted snipe does indeed look like a jackrabbit fitted with antelope horns, but until you’ve hunted true Wyoming snipe Brooklyn at last Yes, yes, totally worth the drive on U.S. HighWay 101 south of Cos- mopolis,'turning left onto Artic Road just after the Artic Tavern (it merges with North River Road; if you pass a school, you’ve gone too far). The Brooklyn Tavern opened in 1927 and is the only remaining busi- ' ness of what was once a huge, boom- ing logging’town. Four owners and nearly 100 years later, Larry Vigue- rie, 72, holds court over the many Wide-eyed first-timers whofind them- selves at 2611 North River Road, 17 miles from the nearest highway in a . part of nowhere that’s nowhere near the middle. The tavern is a small space so packed with nuance, humor and his- tory, you cannot absorb it all on a sin- gle visit. It is part loggers museum, part howling man cave. ‘ ‘ Inside, Larry serves mostly bottled/ can beer, cider and box wine selec- tions. He makes burgers, chili dogs ' and personal pizzas, but mostly he serves Stories to satisfy the one ques- tion on every first-timer’s mind; “What is this place doing here, exactly?” ' ‘ . Remember, no apologies. A true dive bar is real, not What you expect real to be. ‘ An old woodstove throws heat from the middle of the room. The bathroom doors open by means of rope pulleys and both genders are rewarded with walls richly papered in centerfolds. from Playboy and Playgirl magazines. Dollar bills paper the ceiling above the lone pool table. Dusty taxider- mic critters appear here and there. Old misery whips, balance boards, rusty cables, pulleys and early model chainsaws hanggfrom the walls. One chainsaw is so big it looks like a mo- torcycle with shoulder straps instead of wheels, and a 6-foOt blade sticking out its nose!’ v Not one TV in this place, not one. N 0 Wi-Fi or internet, either. A radio plays whatever Larry or the locals want to hear. Indeed, the locals look' you over good and hard, because they, too, want to know what you’re doing here, exactly. ' ' Or as the sign next to the bar , says, Beauty Is in the Eye of the Beerholder. Come. Bring yOu best, beautiful self. If you pick up any dust, you can dust yourself off later, when youre- turn to your “ever strange” Year 2+ COVID life. I Mark Woytowich is a writer, photographer, video producer and author of “Where Waterfalls and Wild Things Are.” He lives in Potlatch . with his wife, Linda. His “On the Go” column appears every other week in the Shelton-Mason County Journal. Reach'him at his website, www.'where- waterfallsare.com, or by email at eye‘five@hctc.com. \ * my WolrkShOPS on Zoom "MW Thursday, Jan. 13, 2022 Shelton-Mason County Journal - Page A-13 QUALITY WPBKMANSHIP! Serving Western Washington for over 50 years #AiROOP’lHPR $599 on 10% OFF Wit fiWAWI ON ANY NEW ROOF DR lit-ROG? 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