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"9ournal of__O00 Readers' 9ournal: iI00E
We have a dream t More than mone00K,
We have a dream. The dream is that we will stop receiving Editor, The Journal: This year they ve started a n Edit°z
letters to the editor like the one printed at the bottom of this This is in response to the let- math program at the prim: The
page. At first we thought there must be some mistake, that it ters printed last Thursday re- building. It is fantastic! H :c°unu
actually had been sent to The Macon County Journal 100 years ' • ue of
garding the bond at Pioneer theyre teaching those kids wo:
ago, lost in the dead-letter box at the post office until this week School. I think there's a whole lot I learned in ninth-grade alge who g
and accidentally delivered to us 3,000 miles from its original more to it than just mo,ney And, their approach to troublserves
destination. But it was written today, in Mason County. Pioneer s asking us to vote yes
for a new high school. They are
Its author has two problems. He has a problem with really excited about all the possi-
paying government workers to relax on the Dr. Martin
Luther King Jr. holiday while he toils. That's fair
enough. What's not fair is his having a problem with
youth is superb. They have a: school
lutions center in each school r:S:g l
teaches the kids to solve tl
own problems. They've also g$ or
program called "Second Stl our fir
• , creed t
that teaches our kids how to u .
• - lic sct
with their emotions ana ways:
solve their problems be fo_,re prll public
lems ever occur. Pioneer s b:ithese
- --d never
ing self-esteem from the morn
people whose skin is black.
He advises us that his remarks are not to be construed as
racist. That's like saying the ocean should not be construed as
salty.
He starts with a cute remark about King's weight, in-
sults the accomplishments of King's children, then tells
us King was a womanizer and became an FBI surveil-
lance target because he was so dangerous. Then he gets
into the meat of what he's really trying to say - that
blacks are prone to criminal activity, that one-third of
them are on the public dole and that they produce scads
of illegitimate children, and worst of all, he's got to pay
for it. Lastly, he returns to the subject of King with the
brilliant remark that King's dream was a nightmare.
To make one point, he even misquotes King as saying,
"Judge my children not by the color of their skin but by the
content of their deeds," so he can insult their deeds. King said,
"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a na-
tion where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but
by the content of their character."
He thinks dry statistics prove his points. Dry statistics
are fine to show that a social problem exists, but the his-
torical facts of slavery, oppression and racism that have
been a detriment to the black race are missing from his
equation. It's amazing that the victims of historical op-
pression can become the bad guys in his mind. They are
no more responsible for living in poverty and having lit-
tle opportunity than he is for oppressing their ances-
tors. A white American today cannot be held responsible
for his ancestors owning slaves or running Indians off
their land. But he is responsible for how he treats those
of other races today.
Minorities really can't win when dealing with the mind of a
racist. A black from a broken family with no hope, no education
and no job is worthless. A black who succeeds in spite of the
roadblocks put in his path must have been given preferential
treatment. A Hispanic who comes to this country but can't find
backbreaking or menial work is a drain on the system. A His-
panic who comes to this country and finds backbreaking or me-
nial work is taking a job away from a white person, even
though employers say. they, can't get white people to do the
work. An Indian who doesn t want to play by the white man s
rat-race rules is lazy. An Indian who has the work ethic to earn
a living fishing is taking fish from white fishermen and should
be required to fish with a spear and a canoe.
' The racist white man always has to have it both ways.
He accumulates material goods to provide for his chil-
dren and grandchildren. He can't see that that's exactly
what the Indians were doing when they signed a treaty -
providing for their children and grandchildren. He
wants the benefit of owning the 200 acres his great-
great-grandfather settled in the 1800s and wants to en-
joy the fruits of a business his grandfather started 50
years ago but wants to deny an Indian the fish a great-
great-grandfather left the Indian in 1855.
He makes smart remarks about blacks having illegitimate
children and misses the headline in The Journal when lily-
white Mason County has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in
the state.
He makes judgments about an entire race based on
the actions of some members of that race and would be
the first to decry a city slicker making sweeping as-
sumptions about his rural county being nothing but red-
necks because of a bad experience in a local watering
hole.
Had our letter writer been born black, would he have stayed
out of prison, never needed public assistance and not fathered
any illegitimate children? His own statistics damn him. He
would have stood a real good chance of having a tough life. In-
stead, he was blessed. He never had to live a life in which peo-
ple judged him by the color of his skin.
This week's letter, which speaks for many, only proves
how far we have to go in loving others despite who they
are. We may be three generations removed from Japa-
nese internment and two generations removed from Ne-
groes riding in the back of the bus and one generation
removed from American soldiers killing gooks, but we
are also zero generations removed from someone drag-
ging a black man behind a vehicle on a rope and zero
generations from a gay man being beaten and left to die.
King once said he'd been to the mountaintop and seen the
promised land of racial equality. We like the view from that
mountaintop better than what we see from the pit where this
letter was written,
- CG
i"""l
Ra
HTC TC,IN' ?
Page 4 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, January 21, 1999
bilities!
You know folks, Pioneer is a
school of doers. And they've got
the track record to prove it. Their
reading program has been in
place for three years. The kids
who have been through it test out
in the 60 to 90 percentile bracket
nationwide.
Do you remember last year
when Pioneer kids went to the
Capitol to read? Did you know
legislators also toured at Pioneer?
Did you go to their technology fair
last Thursday? Weren't you im-
pressed?
the kids enter the school. The ever b,
even got an award-winning r of the
cle program! i and st
Aren't you the least bit
ested in seeing what they'll
with a high school? I am.
CharismaFest 2000 coming
By DAVE BARRY
As we, the American people,
approach the new millennium, we
face many troubling questions.
One is: How can we, as a nation,
be sure that we have spelled
"millennium" correctly? The easi-
est way is to remember the old
poem that we were all taught
back in elementary school:
Two "n"s and two "r's
You've spelled it quite well
One 'T' or one "n"
You're a big fat stupid hen.
But an even bigger question
facing us, as we approach the
year 2000, is: Can we, as a na-
tion, get past the divisiveness, the
bitterness, the sliminess - in
short, the Jerry-Springer-ness
that plagued us throughout 19987
It will not be easy. The American
public is still deeply divided, ac-
cording to a recent Gallup Poll
showing that:
- 72 percent of the public
agrees with the 'statement,
"President Clinton has been pun-
ished enough."
- 71 percent of the public
agrees with the statement,
"President Clinton has not been
punished enough."
- 73 percent of the public
agrees with the statement, "The
Grand Canyon was created by a
race of fierce, prune-eating ham-
sters from space."
These poll results remind us,
as if we needed reminding, that
the public cannot be trusted to
decide any issue more complex
than "eat in" vs. "take out." That
is why we need leadership, de-
fined, in the United States Con-
stitution, as "white men in dark
suits, and possibly Elizabeth
Dole." Even as you read these
words, such men are gearing up
for the 2000 presidential cam-
paign - a campaign that promises
to deliver all the drama and high-
voltage, spine-tingling excitement
that is evoked by the phrase
"Lamar Alexander."
That's right: Lamar - a man
who lights up a room the way a
Zippo lights up Mammoth Cave -
is one of the leading Republicans
now "testing the waters." Other
potential GOP timbers include
George Herbert Walker Thurston
Crumpet Bush Jr., Steve "51
Years Without Blinking" Forbes,
somebody named "John" and the
late Calvin Coolidge.
Meanwhile, on the Democratic
side, the big news is the official
formation of a campaign organi-
zation for - get ready - Al Gore.
This should come as a big sur-
prise to anybody who has spent
his or her entire life locked inside
a meat freezer, because A1 has
basically been running for presi-
dent since he emerged from the
womb, clutching, in his tiny hand,
a position paper on breastfeeding.
Al's biggest drawback is that he
appears stiff in public, to the
point where sometimes, when he's
carrying out his primary constitu-
tional duty as vice president -
which is to stand behind the pres-
ident and look earnest while the
president issues his daily apology
to the nation - A1 will look down
and see beavers gnawing on his
shins.
Al's main rival for the Demo-
cratic presidential nomination is
former Senator Bill Bradley, a
man who, in terms of his ability
to fire up a crowd, makes Al look
like K.C. and the Sunshine Band.
Other leading Democrats testing
the waters include Gary "Why
Not?" Hart, somebody named
"John," and Dick Gephardt, who
has had over 600 gallons of Ro-
gaine injected into his forehead in
a so-far-unsuccessful attempt to
grow eyebrows.
So there you have the main
contenders in the upcoming presi-
dential race, aka CharismaFest
2000. Over the next year, each of
these men will try to develop a
Vision For The Future, defined as
"around $40 million in cash."
They will use some of this vision
to pay for polls so they can find
out what their views are; they
will use the rest for TV commer-
cials explaining these views in
terms that are understandable to
the average American voter or
cocker spaniel ("Vote for John.
You like John. John have same
views as you. See John with fami-
ly! See John wear dark suit! John
very good. Other man very bad.
Remember: John.").
At this point, the question that
is on your mind, if you care about
the future of this nation, is:
"Wouldn't 'The Fierce Prune-Eat-
ing Hamsters from Space' be an
excellent name for a rock band?" I
think we can all agree that it
would. I think we can also agree
that America desperately needs a
new kind of presidential can-
didate - not another droning,
wingtipped, intern-groping, lip-
biting, political clone who can't
burp without putting out a press
release; but a normal person, a
regular guy, a plain-talking "Joe
Sixpack" type of individual who
has spent his life working in the
REAL world, developing honest
calluses on his hands and honest
sweat stains in both of his arm-
pits from toiling away at the
harsh, sometimes brutal, but
vitally necessary job of producing
one humor column per week.
Does such a person exist? To
answer that question, in the next
few months I will personally con-
duct an intensive nationwide
search, traveling, if necessary, to
all four corners of my office. Let
us hope, as Americans, that I find
this unique individual; and let us
further hope that, if I do find him,
I can persuade him to run for
president and accept our contri-
butions, preferably in cash. I will
keep you posted on my efforts, so
you should monitor this space.
Remember: Dave.
Closer scrutiny of Dr. King
Editor, Belfair Herald:
With due respect to Dr. Martin
Luther King, Jr. and his family
on his birthday (January 15), we
once again pay homage to the
icon of civil rights. For the em-
ployees of government and other
state and local agencies, it means
a day of pay while you lay.
For the rest of us working
peons, it means show up for work
or it's two checks and a road map.
Thus, it's this showing of inept at-
titude and lack of solidarity be-
hind this misgiving holiday that
What did the sign on
John Glenn's office door
say when he took his re-
cent out-of-this-world ex-
cursion?
"Out To Launch."
warrants this letter and a closer
scrutiny of Dr. King.
The results may be surprising
but not untrue. The damning
stats are government and FBI.
The ad libs are mine and not to be
construed as racist, only to clear
the air. So with a show and tell,
question and answer forum of
three we list them below.
Q: Did not King say he has
climbed the mountain?
A: Yes, but impossible, being
over weight, 10 stairs would be a
major feat.
Q: Did he not say, judge my
children not by the color of their
skin, but by the content of their
deeds?
A: Again right. But on a scale
of 1 to 10, they rate a four.
Q: Was Martin L. King, Jr. a
racist?
A: Certainly not. While mar-
ried to a courageous black lady,
on the very day he was shot, a
snow driven white lady shared
his bed.
Q: Was not King an object of
constant surveillance by the FBI?
A: Yes. J. Edgar Hoover knew
where he walked, riots could fol-
low.
Q: What percentage of blacks
make up the total population?
A: That's easy, 13 percent and
34 million strong.
Q: Are black males prone to
criminal activity?
A: According to the FBI, one in
four of all black males between
the ages of 18 through 25 are
either entering or leaving the
penal system on any given day.
This is called rotation or soul
buddy system.
Q: What percentage of the 34
million are on public dole?
A: Interesting numbers as gov-
errment statistics show, 34 per-
cent, or a little more than 1 of 3.
Q: Are blacks losing the race of
producing illegitimate children?
A: Never. They are the envy of
automated production lines.
Q: Who pays for all of this?
A: Need I honor that question
with a reply?
Q: Did Martin L. King, Jr.
really have a dream?
A: Does ice freeze in hell? What
he thought to be a dream was a
terrible nightmare that forever
we must pay for.
Q: Then why must I abide to
this holiday?
A: Depends who you work for.
But I'm on my way.
Don Brighton
Belfair
Make inve
Editor, The Journal:
How many of us have gone to
public schools, have had children
in public schools and care about
educating the future leaders and
citizens of our community?
The Hood Canal School levy is
not a new tax. This levy is simply
a renewal of operating funds for
the school district's general
budget. The money is used for the
basic curriculum, maintenance
needs, transportation and for al-
lowing our students to have after-
school transportation for acade-
mic and athletic events just like
other schools.
Educating students wil
the above is like t
house without the
certainly don't want to pay
costs for citizens who can't
jobs or end up in trouble
of poor education.
Think of the Hood Ca
School levy as a small investmi
that will pay big dividends. Spi
just a few minutes and a few d!tl'
lars for our kids. Vote "yes $-:
your absentee ballot or go to
polls on February 2. The kids i
worth it. ]
Tammy Pie '
Hoodspi
Signs vandalized I
i l
Editor, The Journal: a grave action and serious br¢
Somebody has been breaking of freedom of choice, and franl
off the school signs advertising I personally feel that it is equa
the upcoming Pioneer district as serious as assassinating a
bond for the new high school, tician because a person is una
Both sides of the road at Deer to achieve his or her own politi
Creek were vandalized, or social agenda through a de
cratic process. ']'.!
This is not how we should do jeff Watil
things in the USA. I consider this Shelt¢-
G oppo "
reat rtumty i
!
Editor, The Journal: the 8 a.m. start time) and wh!
Pioneer School District voters bus drivers can shave 20 to,$
have been receiving and hearing miles per day from their rout
information about the great say- that's a transportation opport
ings to the taxpayers for the Fe- ty! :'
bruary 2 facilities bond which in- But, in my opinion, the gre t
cludes a high school, additional est, most awesome opportuniti
classrooms for the primary build- of all are: 1) the opportunity
ing and renovation to the inter- create a high school curricul
mediate/middle school buildings, program from conception to i
The great news is that the per- plementation by interested stg
thousand-dollar amount has students, parents and citizens
dropped from $1.91 to $1.31. Pioneer - a program that mee
What a financial opportunity! students' needs, that is inns€
When the bond passes, and tive and that is relevant to edu¢
Pioneer School District becomes tion's and society's needs in
an independent high school dis- next millennium, and 2) to stafl
trict; that will be both a commun- with the very best educators wit[
ity opportunity and a facilities op- can be recruited. When the bo
portunityl Not only will the passes, it will require two to tl
Pioneer students benefit from un- years before the high schoO
crowded, modern, well-lighted, doors open. What a window
structurally safe and new class- time for the advertising, scre
rooms, but adults will be able to ing, interviewing, hiring and
use the high school in the even- servicing of teachers, administr
ings for continuing education tors and support staffi
classes, adult improvement, The time is now! The opport
and/or community meetings, nities are as many and as good
When students don't have to they are ever going to get. Ho
spend up to four hours daily fully, the voters in Pioneer Sch¢
transportation time (our earliest District will take advantage
high school pickup time is 6:11 vote"yes"for this bond.
a.m. in order for the student to Peg St0
arrive at Shelton High School for Shelt
tiuiiiiitfttiitiiiiiti|
ShMton
OMk/ty F USPS 492-800 I Edit
. ;! To
POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Shelton-Mason i voter
County Journal, P.O. Box 430, Shelton, WA 98584. ing F
Published weekly by Shelton Publishing Inc. at 227 West Cota Street, Shelton Washingtii Febri
Consi
Mailing address: P.O. Box 430, Shelton, WA 98584
Telephone (360) 426-4412
Second-class postage paid at Shelton, Washington
Member of Washington Newspaper Publishers' Association
SUBSCRIPTION RATES: $25.00 per year in-county address,
$35.00 per year in state of Washington $45.00 per year out of st$|
Chades Gay, editor and publisher. Nawsroom: Carolyn Maddux, managing editor; Ste¢
Patch, sports editor; Jeff Green, general assignment, city government, schools; Mary Dunc$€
society editor, county government; Sean Hanlon, police, courts, Port of Shelton. Advertleln|
Stephen Gay, advertising manager; Janet Daugherty and Dave Pledk, ad sales. Front offl
Julie Orme, business manager; Vicld Kamin, circulation; Donna Dooms, bookkeeper; J
Mahony, office assistant. Compoain 9 room: Diane Rtordan, supervisor; Margot Brand e#
Jan Kallinen, paste-up; Koleen Wood, typesetter and computer system manager; Karl Fre
computer ad layout and computer system manager; Cynthia Meyer, proofreader. Pressroo
Robert Rodriguez, production foreman; Roger Lawson, darkroom; Kelly Riordan, pressm$
ii
(1)
whet]
for a
we h
the S
or t[
bond.
(2)
us $1
of ev
bond
(due
mark
(3
"9ournal of__O00 Readers' 9ournal: iI00E
We have a dream t More than mone00K,
We have a dream. The dream is that we will stop receiving Editor, The Journal: This year they ve started a n Edit°z
letters to the editor like the one printed at the bottom of this This is in response to the let- math program at the prim: The
page. At first we thought there must be some mistake, that it ters printed last Thursday re- building. It is fantastic! H :c°unu
actually had been sent to The Macon County Journal 100 years ' • ue of
garding the bond at Pioneer theyre teaching those kids wo:
ago, lost in the dead-letter box at the post office until this week School. I think there's a whole lot I learned in ninth-grade alge who g
and accidentally delivered to us 3,000 miles from its original more to it than just mo,ney And, their approach to troublserves
destination. But it was written today, in Mason County. Pioneer s asking us to vote yes
for a new high school. They are
Its author has two problems. He has a problem with really excited about all the possi-
paying government workers to relax on the Dr. Martin
Luther King Jr. holiday while he toils. That's fair
enough. What's not fair is his having a problem with
youth is superb. They have a: school
lutions center in each school r:S:g l
teaches the kids to solve tl
own problems. They've also g$ or
program called "Second Stl our fir
• , creed t
that teaches our kids how to u .
• - lic sct
with their emotions ana ways:
solve their problems be fo_,re prll public
lems ever occur. Pioneer s b:ithese
- --d never
ing self-esteem from the morn
people whose skin is black.
He advises us that his remarks are not to be construed as
racist. That's like saying the ocean should not be construed as
salty.
He starts with a cute remark about King's weight, in-
sults the accomplishments of King's children, then tells
us King was a womanizer and became an FBI surveil-
lance target because he was so dangerous. Then he gets
into the meat of what he's really trying to say - that
blacks are prone to criminal activity, that one-third of
them are on the public dole and that they produce scads
of illegitimate children, and worst of all, he's got to pay
for it. Lastly, he returns to the subject of King with the
brilliant remark that King's dream was a nightmare.
To make one point, he even misquotes King as saying,
"Judge my children not by the color of their skin but by the
content of their deeds," so he can insult their deeds. King said,
"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a na-
tion where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but
by the content of their character."
He thinks dry statistics prove his points. Dry statistics
are fine to show that a social problem exists, but the his-
torical facts of slavery, oppression and racism that have
been a detriment to the black race are missing from his
equation. It's amazing that the victims of historical op-
pression can become the bad guys in his mind. They are
no more responsible for living in poverty and having lit-
tle opportunity than he is for oppressing their ances-
tors. A white American today cannot be held responsible
for his ancestors owning slaves or running Indians off
their land. But he is responsible for how he treats those
of other races today.
Minorities really can't win when dealing with the mind of a
racist. A black from a broken family with no hope, no education
and no job is worthless. A black who succeeds in spite of the
roadblocks put in his path must have been given preferential
treatment. A Hispanic who comes to this country but can't find
backbreaking or menial work is a drain on the system. A His-
panic who comes to this country and finds backbreaking or me-
nial work is taking a job away from a white person, even
though employers say. they, can't get white people to do the
work. An Indian who doesn t want to play by the white man s
rat-race rules is lazy. An Indian who has the work ethic to earn
a living fishing is taking fish from white fishermen and should
be required to fish with a spear and a canoe.
' The racist white man always has to have it both ways.
He accumulates material goods to provide for his chil-
dren and grandchildren. He can't see that that's exactly
what the Indians were doing when they signed a treaty -
providing for their children and grandchildren. He
wants the benefit of owning the 200 acres his great-
great-grandfather settled in the 1800s and wants to en-
joy the fruits of a business his grandfather started 50
years ago but wants to deny an Indian the fish a great-
great-grandfather left the Indian in 1855.
He makes smart remarks about blacks having illegitimate
children and misses the headline in The Journal when lily-
white Mason County has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in
the state.
He makes judgments about an entire race based on
the actions of some members of that race and would be
the first to decry a city slicker making sweeping as-
sumptions about his rural county being nothing but red-
necks because of a bad experience in a local watering
hole.
Had our letter writer been born black, would he have stayed
out of prison, never needed public assistance and not fathered
any illegitimate children? His own statistics damn him. He
would have stood a real good chance of having a tough life. In-
stead, he was blessed. He never had to live a life in which peo-
ple judged him by the color of his skin.
This week's letter, which speaks for many, only proves
how far we have to go in loving others despite who they
are. We may be three generations removed from Japa-
nese internment and two generations removed from Ne-
groes riding in the back of the bus and one generation
removed from American soldiers killing gooks, but we
are also zero generations removed from someone drag-
ging a black man behind a vehicle on a rope and zero
generations from a gay man being beaten and left to die.
King once said he'd been to the mountaintop and seen the
promised land of racial equality. We like the view from that
mountaintop better than what we see from the pit where this
letter was written,
- CG
i"""l
Ra
HTC TC,IN' ?
HHH
Page 4 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, January 21, 1999
bilities!
You know folks, Pioneer is a
school of doers. And they've got
the track record to prove it. Their
reading program has been in
place for three years. The kids
who have been through it test out
in the 60 to 90 percentile bracket
nationwide.
Do you remember last year
when Pioneer kids went to the
Capitol to read? Did you know
legislators also toured at Pioneer?
Did you go to their technology fair
last Thursday? Weren't you im-
pressed?
the kids enter the school. The ever b,
even got an award-winning r of the
cle program! i and st
Aren't you the least bit
ested in seeing what they'll
with a high school? I am.
CharismaFest 2000 coming
By DAVE BARRY
As we, the American people,
approach the new millennium, we
face many troubling questions.
One is: How can we, as a nation,
be sure that we have spelled
"millennium" correctly? The easi-
est way is to remember the old
poem that we were all taught
back in elementary school:
Two "n"s and two "r's
You've spelled it quite well
One 'T' or one "n"
You're a big fat stupid hen.
But an even bigger question
facing us, as we approach the
year 2000, is: Can we, as a na-
tion, get past the divisiveness, the
bitterness, the sliminess - in
short, the Jerry-Springer-ness
that plagued us throughout 19987
It will not be easy. The American
public is still deeply divided, ac-
cording to a recent Gallup Poll
showing that:
- 72 percent of the public
agrees with the 'statement,
"President Clinton has been pun-
ished enough."
- 71 percent of the public
agrees with the statement,
"President Clinton has not been
punished enough."
- 73 percent of the public
agrees with the statement, "The
Grand Canyon was created by a
race of fierce, prune-eating ham-
sters from space."
These poll results remind us,
as if we needed reminding, that
the public cannot be trusted to
decide any issue more complex
than "eat in" vs. "take out." That
is why we need leadership, de-
fined, in the United States Con-
stitution, as "white men in dark
suits, and possibly Elizabeth
Dole." Even as you read these
words, such men are gearing up
for the 2000 presidential cam-
paign - a campaign that promises
to deliver all the drama and high-
voltage, spine-tingling excitement
that is evoked by the phrase
"Lamar Alexander."
That's right: Lamar - a man
who lights up a room the way a
Zippo lights up Mammoth Cave -
is one of the leading Republicans
now "testing the waters." Other
potential GOP timbers include
George Herbert Walker Thurston
Crumpet Bush Jr., Steve "51
Years Without Blinking" Forbes,
somebody named "John" and the
late Calvin Coolidge.
Meanwhile, on the Democratic
side, the big news is the official
formation of a campaign organi-
zation for - get ready - Al Gore.
This should come as a big sur-
prise to anybody who has spent
his or her entire life locked inside
a meat freezer, because A1 has
basically been running for presi-
dent since he emerged from the
womb, clutching, in his tiny hand,
a position paper on breastfeeding.
Al's biggest drawback is that he
appears stiff in public, to the
point where sometimes, when he's
carrying out his primary constitu-
tional duty as vice president -
which is to stand behind the pres-
ident and look earnest while the
president issues his daily apology
to the nation - A1 will look down
and see beavers gnawing on his
shins.
Al's main rival for the Demo-
cratic presidential nomination is
former Senator Bill Bradley, a
man who, in terms of his ability
to fire up a crowd, makes Al look
like K.C. and the Sunshine Band.
Other leading Democrats testing
the waters include Gary "Why
Not?" Hart, somebody named
"John," and Dick Gephardt, who
has had over 600 gallons of Ro-
gaine injected into his forehead in
a so-far-unsuccessful attempt to
grow eyebrows.
So there you have the main
contenders in the upcoming presi-
dential race, aka CharismaFest
2000. Over the next year, each of
these men will try to develop a
Vision For The Future, defined as
"around $40 million in cash."
They will use some of this vision
to pay for polls so they can find
out what their views are; they
will use the rest for TV commer-
cials explaining these views in
terms that are understandable to
the average American voter or
cocker spaniel ("Vote for John.
You like John. John have same
views as you. See John with fami-
ly! See John wear dark suit! John
very good. Other man very bad.
Remember: John.").
At this point, the question that
is on your mind, if you care about
the future of this nation, is:
"Wouldn't 'The Fierce Prune-Eat-
ing Hamsters from Space' be an
excellent name for a rock band?" I
think we can all agree that it
would. I think we can also agree
that America desperately needs a
new kind of presidential can-
didate - not another droning,
wingtipped, intern-groping, lip-
biting, political clone who can't
burp without putting out a press
release; but a normal person, a
regular guy, a plain-talking "Joe
Sixpack" type of individual who
has spent his life working in the
REAL world, developing honest
calluses on his hands and honest
sweat stains in both of his arm-
pits from toiling away at the
harsh, sometimes brutal, but
vitally necessary job of producing
one humor column per week.
Does such a person exist? To
answer that question, in the next
few months I will personally con-
duct an intensive nationwide
search, traveling, if necessary, to
all four corners of my office. Let
us hope, as Americans, that I find
this unique individual; and let us
further hope that, if I do find him,
I can persuade him to run for
president and accept our contri-
butions, preferably in cash. I will
keep you posted on my efforts, so
you should monitor this space.
Remember: Dave.
Closer scrutiny of Dr. King
Editor, Belfair Herald:
With due respect to Dr. Martin
Luther King, Jr. and his family
on his birthday (January 15), we
once again pay homage to the
icon of civil rights. For the em-
ployees of government and other
state and local agencies, it means
a day of pay while you lay.
For the rest of us working
peons, it means show up for work
or it's two checks and a road map.
Thus, it's this showing of inept at-
titude and lack of solidarity be-
hind this misgiving holiday that
What did the sign on
John Glenn's office door
say when he took his re-
cent out-of-this-world ex-
cursion?
"Out To Launch."
warrants this letter and a closer
scrutiny of Dr. King.
The results may be surprising
but not untrue. The damning
stats are government and FBI.
The ad libs are mine and not to be
construed as racist, only to clear
the air. So with a show and tell,
question and answer forum of
three we list them below.
Q: Did not King say he has
climbed the mountain?
A: Yes, but impossible, being
over weight, 10 stairs would be a
major feat.
Q: Did he not say, judge my
children not by the color of their
skin, but by the content of their
deeds?
A: Again right. But on a scale
of 1 to 10, they rate a four.
Q: Was Martin L. King, Jr. a
racist?
A: Certainly not. While mar-
ried to a courageous black lady,
on the very day he was shot, a
snow driven white lady shared
his bed.
Q: Was not King an object of
constant surveillance by the FBI?
A: Yes. J. Edgar Hoover knew
where he walked, riots could fol-
low.
Q: What percentage of blacks
make up the total population?
A: That's easy, 13 percent and
34 million strong.
Q: Are black males prone to
criminal activity?
A: According to the FBI, one in
four of all black males between
the ages of 18 through 25 are
either entering or leaving the
penal system on any given day.
This is called rotation or soul
buddy system.
Q: What percentage of the 34
million are on public dole?
A: Interesting numbers as gov-
errment statistics show, 34 per-
cent, or a little more than 1 of 3.
Q: Are blacks losing the race of
producing illegitimate children?
A: Never. They are the envy of
automated production lines.
Q: Who pays for all of this?
A: Need I honor that question
with a reply?
Q: Did Martin L. King, Jr.
really have a dream?
A: Does ice freeze in hell? What
he thought to be a dream was a
terrible nightmare that forever
we must pay for.
Q: Then why must I abide to
this holiday?
A: Depends who you work for.
But I'm on my way.
Don Brighton
Belfair
Make inve
Editor, The Journal:
How many of us have gone to
public schools, have had children
in public schools and care about
educating the future leaders and
citizens of our community?
The Hood Canal School levy is
not a new tax. This levy is simply
a renewal of operating funds for
the school district's general
budget. The money is used for the
basic curriculum, maintenance
needs, transportation and for al-
lowing our students to have after-
school transportation for acade-
mic and athletic events just like
other schools.
Educating students wil
the above is like t
house without the
certainly don't want to pay
costs for citizens who can't
jobs or end up in trouble
of poor education.
Think of the Hood Ca
School levy as a small investmi
that will pay big dividends. Spi
just a few minutes and a few d!tl'
lars for our kids. Vote "yes $-:
your absentee ballot or go to
polls on February 2. The kids i
worth it. ]
Tammy Pie '
Hoodspi
Signs vandalized I
i l
Editor, The Journal: a grave action and serious br¢
Somebody has been breaking of freedom of choice, and franl
off the school signs advertising I personally feel that it is equa
the upcoming Pioneer district as serious as assassinating a
bond for the new high school, tician because a person is una
Both sides of the road at Deer to achieve his or her own politi
Creek were vandalized, or social agenda through a de
cratic process. ']'.!
This is not how we should do jeff Watil
things in the USA. I consider this Shelt¢-
G oppo "
reat rtumty i
!
Editor, The Journal: the 8 a.m. start time) and wh!
Pioneer School District voters bus drivers can shave 20 to,$
have been receiving and hearing miles per day from their rout
information about the great say- that's a transportation opport
ings to the taxpayers for the Fe- ty! :'
bruary 2 facilities bond which in- But, in my opinion, the gre t
cludes a high school, additional est, most awesome opportuniti
classrooms for the primary build- of all are: 1) the opportunity
ing and renovation to the inter- create a high school curricul
mediate/middle school buildings, program from conception to i
The great news is that the per- plementation by interested stg
thousand-dollar amount has students, parents and citizens
dropped from $1.91 to $1.31. Pioneer - a program that mee
What a financial opportunity! students' needs, that is inns€
When the bond passes, and tive and that is relevant to edu¢
Pioneer School District becomes tion's and society's needs in
an independent high school dis- next millennium, and 2) to stafl
trict; that will be both a commun- with the very best educators wit[
ity opportunity and a facilities op- can be recruited. When the bo
portunityl Not only will the passes, it will require two to tl
Pioneer students benefit from un- years before the high schoO
crowded, modern, well-lighted, doors open. What a window
structurally safe and new class- time for the advertising, scre
rooms, but adults will be able to ing, interviewing, hiring and
use the high school in the even- servicing of teachers, administr
ings for continuing education tors and support staffi
classes, adult improvement, The time is now! The opport
and/or community meetings, nities are as many and as good
When students don't have to they are ever going to get. Ho
spend up to four hours daily fully, the voters in Pioneer Sch¢
transportation time (our earliest District will take advantage
high school pickup time is 6:11 vote"yes"for this bond.
a.m. in order for the student to Peg St0
arrive at Shelton High School for Shelt
tiuiiiiitfttiitiiiiiti|
ShMton
OMk/ty F USPS 492-800 I Edit
. ;! To
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Published weekly by Shelton Publishing Inc. at 227 West Cota Street, Shelton Washingtii Febri
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Chades Gay, editor and publisher. Nawsroom: Carolyn Maddux, managing editor; Ste¢
Patch, sports editor; Jeff Green, general assignment, city government, schools; Mary Dunc$€
society editor, county government; Sean Hanlon, police, courts, Port of Shelton. Advertleln|
Stephen Gay, advertising manager; Janet Daugherty and Dave Pledk, ad sales. Front offl
Julie Orme, business manager; Vicld Kamin, circulation; Donna Dooms, bookkeeper; J
Mahony, office assistant. Compoain 9 room: Diane Rtordan, supervisor; Margot Brand e#
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