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Newspaper Archive of
Shelton Mason County Journal
Shelton, Washington
April 14, 2022     Shelton Mason County Journal
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April 14, 2022
 
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Page A-4 Shelton-Mason County Journal Thursday, April 14, I ' Having historical figures over for dinner people of historical impor- tance to dinner, who would you invite? The rules are they wouldn’t be dead at dinner, you can’t invite Hitler (who wants to hear “Hitler’s here!”) and they would leave by 9 so you’d have time to clean and get to bed at a proper hour. Let’s imagine our guests are William Shakespeare, Joan of Arc, Franz Kafka and Socrates Joan of Arc arrives at the house first, followed by Shake- speare and Kafka, who came' in an Uber. Both appear to have been drinking. Socrates is minutes late — he got into a fistfight with his-limo driver. ME: Finally, we’re all here! Welcome! Let me introduce everyone. This is William Shakespeare, English poet and playwright. That’s Joan of Arc, French military leader slash heretic slash saint. This is Franz Kafka, the existen- tial novelist from-Prague, and If you could have four dead KIRK ERICSON THESE TIMES Socrates, well, I don’t think he needs any introduction. SHAKESPEARE: Oh? T’is I who need an introduction? SOCRATES: I’m older than you. ‘ ME: Sorry. No offense. Let’s all sit down. (They sit at the dining room table.) : JOAN OF ARC: You’re serving barbecued steak? To Joan of ‘Arc? Uh ME: OK, let’s eat. Hey! Anyone know the time? SHAKESPEARE: Celestial Standard Time or Pacific? ME: Very funny. JOAN OF ARC: It’s 7. ME: Oh. (I grab the TV re- mote) Mind if we watch ‘The Simpsons?’ SHAKESPEARE: ‘The Simpsons?’ SOCRATES: I must make the same inquiry. KAFKA: It’s a TV show and it’s fantastic. I watch it all the time on Disney+. b ME: We’ll watch it on FXX. I don’t have Disney+ KAFKA: Darn. Disney is my favorite plus. ME: It’s a fantastic show, and this episode is one of my favorites. The young boy Bart sells his soul to his best friend. KAFKA: You’re kidding me! That’s one of my favorites tool ME: Really? (Pointing my fork at Kafka) You’re OK. (The TV plays “The Simp- sons” opening sequence.) SOCRATES: I’m confused. You ME: Shush! SOCRATES: I must insist. You brought us here for‘ one of the finest gatherings of his— torical figures in history and you’re making us watch this idiocy? KAFKA: Hey! Shut your pie hole! You haven’t even seen it yet. ME: Franz is right. If you can’t be quiet, go somewhere else. SOCRATES: Fine! I didn’t drink hemlock for this. (Socrates throws his napkin on the table and stomps out the door.) , JOAN OF ARC: Good. He’s a polytheist anyway. KAFKA: I’m an atheist. JOAN OF ARC: Still? ME: Shh! (‘The Simpsons” episode starts. Conversation resumes during a commercial break.) KAFKA: The notion of a commoditized soul is an ab- surdist indictment of this culture’s fixation on finan- cial wealth. I like what your poet Gary Snyder said in this regard: ‘True affluence is not needing anything.’ JOAN OF ARC: I once needed a fire extinguisher. ME: Quiet you two. (The show resumes. Kafka and Joan of Arc laugh often, but Shakespeare is quiet — he’s writing a play on every available dinner napkin. The show ends.) ME: Wasn’t that great? Wasn’t that funny? KAFKA: Sure was. I think the best line was when Bart said, “I AM familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.” SHAKESPEARE: (Looking up from his now-finished play) Huh? , JOAN OF ARC: The rea- son that’s funny is because no 10-year-old boy in the United States would be familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda. ME: Yes indeed. Everybody quiet again. ‘South Park’ is on next. I Contact Kirk Ericson at kirk@masoncounty.com LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Thanks far your help Editor, the Journal, Thank you so much to the kind lady who stayed with me when I fell in the street and injured myself March 24. I did not get your name, but your thoughtfulness will remain a blessing to me forever. Gratefully, Joey Thompson Shelton Kudos to Sheldon Editor, the Journal, I would like to chime in behind John Ervin’s letter last week in thanking Tim Sheldon for his service to our county and our state. In ourfamily moved its fledgling business to Mason County. I can say without any doubt, if not for Tim’s assistance, along with his then Economic Development Council as- sociate Jay Hupp, things could have worked difierently for our firm. Additionally, credit also goes to my late friend, Tom Spikes, who as the business banking representative for Heritage Bank, was a major catalyst Slnl’tonmasonabnntn Journal ‘ USPS 492-800 POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Shelton-Mason County Journal, P.O. Box 430, Shelton, WA 98584. Published weekly by the Shelton-Mason County Journal 'at W. Cota St., Shelton, Washington. Mailing address: PO. Box 430, Shelton, WA 98584 Telephone: 360-426—4412 Website: www.masoncounty.com Periodicals postage paid in Shelton, Washington. in our success here in Mason County. Tom, now gone, is not forgotten. His influence on business in this county still has his presence, including fond memories by friends and business clients. Good luck Tim, you will be missed. You were like a giant circuit—breaker in our snafir state Legislature. Patrick Burke American Cushion Industries Shelton Owners and camps Editor, the Journal, Headline in the March Journal: “City targets camps” Wait. What? . That headline should read: “City targets property owners.”Shelton Po- lice Chief Carole Beason told the City Council that homeless people were, in essence, trespassing on private prop— erty. That they were dumping trash, defecating on the ground and starting dangerous fires. It seems to me that all their acts are unlawful.) Why tell the council? Why not enforce the law? The next paragraph states that a proposed ordinance would make the property owner responsible for the cleanup or if they don’t, could even- tually have a lien placed on their property. Beason said the ordinance “gives us another tool to be able to hold property owners accountable for what is going on on their property.” I’m sure that some, if not all of you — the police chief and council mem- bers —— are parents. Would any of you hold one of your children account- able for what you know another child had done? Beason also said some property owners don’t know that people have set up camps on their land and that “there’s a lot of trash, a lot of debris, and we also have other crimes being committed on some of the properties.”I hope this proposed ordinance won’t try to make the property owners accountable for the “other crimes” being committed, or will it be applied differently for those who don’t know that crimes are being committed on their property? At the April business meeting and the May action agenda, the City Council should be discussing how to protect property owners. You know, like enforcing the law. Council member .loe Schmit said “we’re not making it illegal to have unhoused people in the city limits, or an orga- nized encampment.”He said it needs to be “permitted” and go through-a “process” within the city to do it in a “legal way.” Is he saying that there is a permit and process within our city rules that can make trespassing legal? Beason said property owners could make their land “less desirable” to campers by removing trees to create greater visibility. Will the city pay for the logging permit to do this? I don’t think so. If the city, churches or any other local groups want to allow homeless encampments on their own properties, that’s fine. However, none of them should be held responsible for cleaning up the area. It would be cheaper in the long run to make the» offenders do the work. If you don’t, they will just stand back out of the way and watch someone else do the job. That will not fix anything. This state, from the top down, seems to protect the guilty/criminal and punish the law-abiding citizens. Keith Schouviller Shelton see LETTERS, page A—5 The Shelton-Mason County Jour- nal is a member of the Wash- Publisher: John Lester Front office: ington Newspaper Publishers Advertising: , Association. Theresa Murray, Ad Representative . Delivery: SUBSCRIPTION RATES: Newsroom: Jon’Garza $62 per year ($43 for six months) Justin Johnson, Editor David Olson .for Mason County addresses and $75 per year ($55 for six_ months) outside of Mason County. Owned and published by Shelton-Mason County Journal, inc. Gordon Weeks, Reporter Matt Baide, Reporter Kirk Boxle‘rtner, Reporter Kirk Ericson, Columnist/ Proofreader Niel Challstrom v Composing room: Creative Director: Lloyd Mullen Dave Pierlk. Office Administrator Karen Hranac, Customer Service All regular editorial, advertising and legal deadlines are 5 pm. the Monday prior to publication. To submit a letter to the editor, email editor@masoncounty.com. Kim Fowler, Advertising Design Linda Frizzell, Advertising Design