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Page 4 — Shelton-Mason Journal — Thursday, June 22, 2023
Some ver
‘6 verybody says how
easy it is to cook,
but it isn’t any easi-
er than not cooking.” —— Maria
Bamford
"Did you ever hear about
the Norwegian who loved his
wife so much he almost told
her?” Author unknown
“Bob Dylan always told me,
don’t be a ntmuz-dropper.” _
Chrissie llynde
“I would start a revolution,
but I just bought a hammock.”
~ Zach (ialilianakis
“I wear this St. Christo—
pher medal sometimes bc~
cause I’m Jewish and my
boyfriend’s Catholic. It
cute the way he gave it to
me. lie said if it doesn’t burn
through my skin, it will pro—
tect me. \Vho cares? Different
religions. The only time it’s
an issue, l suppose, would
be if you’re having a baby
you got to ligu re out how you
wanna raise your baby. Which
y good
THESE
TIMES
would still not be an issue for
us, because we’d be honest.
We’d say, ‘Mommy’s one of the
chosen people, and Daddy he
lieves that Jesus is magic!’ ” *
Sarah Silverman
“I’m sick of following Iny
dreams I’m just going to
ask them where they are go~
ing and hook up with thorn
later.” -—A Mitch Hedberg
“A guy’s driving down an
old country road and he sees a
farmer in his orchard feeding
jokesfora sunny day
his pigs, but what he’s do-
ing is he’s taking one pig at
a time, holding him up, let—
ting him eat an apple out of
the tree, and then setting him
down before picking up anoth—
er pig and letting him eat an
apple. So the guy pulls over
and walks up to the farmer
and he says, ‘Wouldn’t it
time to just knock all the
apples on the ground and let
the pigs eat them all at once?’
And the farmer, confused,
looks at him and says, ‘What’s
time to a pig‘?’ ” — Doug
Stanhope
“I’d like to do a reality
show with four white people
who are dropped offin a re~
ally bad black neighborhood.
And the show would be called
‘Cracker Hunt.’ ” —— Zach
Galifianakis
This was one of the writer
Kurt Vonnegut’s favorite
jokes, according to his son:
“Every day for years and
years a customs agent
carefully searched through a
guy’s wheelbarrow when he
crossed the border. Finally,
when he was about to retire,
the customs agent asked the
guy, ‘We’ve become friends.
I’ve searched your wheelbar~
row every day for many years.
What is it you’re smuggling?’ ”
“My friend, I am smuggling
wheelbarrows.”
What did the sadist say to
the masochist?
“Beat me.”
What did the masochist say?
“No.” »— Author unknown
“It’s fun telling people you
go to McDonald’s. They al~
ways give you that look like,
‘Oh, I didn’t know l was better
than you.’ " ~~ Jim (iafligan
“Men don’t care what’s on
TV. They only care what else
is on TV.” —~ Jerry Seinfeld
An MIT linguistics profes—
sor was lecturing his class.
“In English,” he said, “a dou-
ble negative forms a positive.
However, in some languages,
such as Russian, a double
negative remains a negative.
But there isn’t a single lan—
guage, not: one, in which a
double positive can express a
negative.”
,A voice from the back of the
room says, “Yeah, right.” *
Author unknown
“A duck walks into a
bar and says, ‘You got any
grapes?’ The bartender says,
‘No, get out of here.’ Then the
next day, the duck walks into
the same bar and goes, ‘You
got any grapes?’ The bartend—
er says, ‘Like I told you, we
don’t have any! (lot, out. And
if you come in here one more
time, l’ll nail your feet to the
floor.’ Then the duck comes
in the third day and asks.
‘You got any nails?’ Bartender
says, ‘I To.’ And the duck says,
‘You got any grapes?’ "’ “A Jo
Firestone
I Contact Kiri: El'h'son (If
lair/ctr!‘mosonrrounly.com
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Doing good work
Editor, the Journal,
'l‘hanks to the volunteers from the
Shelton Rotary Club for the condition of
the Iiul'l’n’l’uff’l’rail. It is clean, friendly
and welcon’iing and feels sale. Once
again. local people here do something
very good for the community. If you
haven’t been fora while, you will be im-
j‘)rcsscd. We couldn’t understand how it
had become so exceptional until We hap-
pened to hear about the Rotary members”
work.
Also, thanks to the Mount Rose trail
crew. For almost 40 years, they have been
doing great work on many local trails,
such as Mount Rose, Mount Ellinor, Big
Creek and many more Forest Service
trails on the south and cast sides ofthe
Olympics. It is not uncommon to run into
people on these trails who come from
other places (Pennsylvania, for one), who
have heard about how great the Mount
Rose frail crew is and wanted to come
and see for themselves when they Visit
this area. Some winters are hard on trails
in the Olympics, but it is impressive to
see how fast they clear trails and repair
bridges. People come and go on the crew,
and many work for years, including local
notables such Vern Johnson and many
others. In town, thanks to the student
volunteers who helped Steve Galka and
the Y clear out the evil scotch broom that
took over after the Y site was cleared, as
almost always happens. Next year it will
be easier, especially if they can manage to
get it to rain for several days before they
SHELTON—MASON COUNTY
USPS 492—800
POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Shelton—Mason
County Journal, PO. Box 430, Shelton, WA 98584.
Published weekly by the Shelton-Mason County Journal
at 227 W. Cola St, Shelton, Washington.
Mailing address: PO. Box 430, Shelton, WA 98584
Telephone: 360426-4412
Website: www.masoncounty.com
Periodicals postage paid in Shelton, Washington.
start pulling it up. Good luck with that.
Last but not least, thanks to the staff at
'l‘urning l’oinlc for doing!> so well at such
necessary work.
Rel) M’ilsoanoss
Shelton
‘Reimagine Wildfire’
Editor. the Journal,
(Jan homes, communities, healthy lor-
and wildfires coexist?
That is the essential question behind
the film “Elemental: Reimaginc Wildfire.”
(elementalfilm.com).
I have had the chance to watch this
film multiple times, and I learn some—
thing new with each viewing.“Elemental:
Reimagine Wildfire” is an outstanding
film that deseivcs the widest possible
viewing. In a visually stunning manner,
it distills what we’ve learned about wild-
land fire over the decades and provides a
roadmap for badly needed changes that
will benefit thousands of people, particu—
larly in fire-prone communities. Those of
us who live in Western Washington now
know that we are not immune to wild-
fire danger; this is no longer an Eastern
Washington problem.
Over the past year, “Elemental: Rei—
maginc Wildfire” screened at 40 film fes—
tivals and hundreds of theaters across the
nation. The filmmakers showed up with
firefighters, scientists, cultural firelighters
and experts in home safety to engage with
viewers on how to prepare homes and
communities for fire. At long last, you can
Owned and published by
Shelton~Mason County Journal, Inc.
The Journal is a member of the
Washington Newspaper Publish-
ers Association.
Publisher: John Lester
now stream the film at home, and share it
with your family and friends.
Also. you can conlacl Mason (‘ountv
Conservation District for a fret- wildlirc
home visit or forest health assessment. Be
a wildfire-ready neighbor.
Sherri [)usiu'l
Shelton
A dangerous spike
Editor, the Journal,
In accordance with the Journal
new letter policy, l wish to rebut Donna
Holliday’s letter ol’May 25. On May 4,
l wrote about transgendcr athletes and
said, “Democrats udll allow a 240—pound
linebacker to tackle a 110-pound girl
boy transgender at full speed.” Males are
stronger than females. Logic says 240
pounds against no pounds is unfair; girls
can get hurt. Holliday’s response: “Demo—
crats are not allowing 240 pounds to
tackle 110 pounds.”
Payton McNabb, a North Caro»
lina high school volleyball player, was
knocked unconscious by a transgender
male when he spiked the ball into her
face at a high school game in November
2022. She suffered a concussion and neck
injuries; it took weeks to recover. She’s
quit the sport. I think that qualifies as a
l‘ransgcnder male causing an injury on
a female athlete. President Joe Biden, a
Democrat, could enforce Title IX, which
separates male and female sports, but
chooses not to. I think that qualifies as
Democrats allowing injuries because they
Front office:
ignore the Tide IX lav: and permit trans—
gender males on a female team. The man
responsible for the injury scni llie Slil'l :1
hate message. lie was unhappy because
of widespread criticism for his part in
causing the injury.
Hates wrong regardless of who does it.
My May 4 letter also asked what was
the purpose and job function of the
school‘s gender coordiiuilor and Ihc Title
IX coordinator? I think I’ve shown why
Title IX should be reinstated. I would like
some understanding from these Shelton
school coordinators on thesc policies and
the need for them. I would also like their
thoughts as to what happened to Payton
McNabl).
Ardean Anuik
Shelton
Restaurant boycott
Editor, the Journal,
I have been a strong supporter of the
Wilde Irish Pub since before they opened; vim
After reading the article regarding the
Pride proclamations both for the county
and city, I will have to begin my boycott.
Jim Boad voted against a simple procla«
mation to show support for all citizens in
the City of Shelton. The small businesses
of Shelton are trying everything they can
to remain open. Not supporting everyone
in our society is not the way to get more
customers.
Cathy Gallagher
Shelton
Dave Pierik, Office Administrator
Advertising:
Theresa Murray, Ad Representative
Delivery:
Newsroom: Jon Garza
Justin Johnson, Editor David Olson
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All regular editorial, advertising
and legal deadlines are 5 pm. the
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To submit a letter to the editor,
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