July 3, 1975 Shelton Mason County Journal | ![]() |
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The time has arrived for the Journal's second annual
Current Events Survey and Salmon Bake.
The rules remain the same. Readers are invited to fill in
the answers with pen, pencil, crayon or peanut butter.
Neatness does not count and wrong answers are not
penalized, which means everyone can score 100.
!. What is Henry Jackson's stand on the Vietnam war?
(circle three)
(a) all for it; (b) opposed it; (c) needs time to think it
over.
2. What is the nation's number one priority? (circle one)
(a) a swimming pool for Gerald Ford; (b)a
congressional pay raiseq(c) amnesty for CIA agents.
3. What goes up but never comes down? (take your pick)
(a) the price of gasoline; (b)the price of gasoline;
(c) the price of gasoline.
4. What will Richard Nixon's next job be: (circle one)
(a) warm-up man for Billy Graham; (b) tax consultant
for Howard Hughes; (c) public relations director for Patricia
Hearst.
5. Now that Cambodia has learned its lesson, what will be
the next world power to be shown the United States' military
might? (circle one or more)
(a) Zambia;(b) Iceland; (c) Wyoming.
6. For what political office is George Wallace qualified?
(circle three)
(a) governor of Alabama; (b) governor of Mississippi;
(c) governor of Louisiana.
7. For what political office is Ronald Reagan qualified?
(circle one)
(a) warm-up man for Billy Graham; (b) tax consultant
for Howard Hughes; (c) public relations director for Patricia
Hearst.
8. Who is Henry Kissinger? (circle one)
(a) a Pepsi-Cola salesman; (b)Nelson
butler; (c) a Vietnamese refugee.
Rockefeller's
9. What will cause the nation's next great moral crisis? (circle
olle)
(a) Ann Landers' second nmrringe; (b) X-rated attractions at
Disneyland; (c) Lassie's divorce.
iO. Which new prod~t will cmptare .~ buy~ public's
fancy during the next year? (circle one)
(a) coin-operated shoes; (b)soybean cigarettes;
(c) denim lingerie.
I 1. What is causing the high unemployment rate?
(a) lazy people who don't want to ~rk; (b) illegal
aliens who have gobbled up all the best jobs; (c) welfare
recipients who are saving their money instead of spending it.
12. Which of the following would you favor eliminating to
cut down the cost of education? (circle one)
(a) school plant; (b) teachers; (c) students.
13. Who will be Muhammad Ali's next opponent? (circle
011{.~)
(a) Truman Capote; (b) Margaret Truman; (c) Howard
Cecil.
14. Who is the darkhorse candidate for President in 1976?
(circle one)
(a) George Seabiscuit; (b) John Citation; (c) Walter
Whirlaway.
15. Is pollution really as bad as the screamers claim? (circle
one)
(a) of course (cough) not; (b) don't be (gasp) silly;
(c) the environmentalists are (wheeze) overreacting.
Send your completed survey form to the Journal at Box
430, Shelton, Washington. All forms which are unsigned will
remain confidential. Forms with the earliest postmark will be
.sent to the Smithsonian Institute.
McGinnis'
Fort Jm'eli reports: There's a new in the Hollywood set -
Reducing Roulette. You buy a dx-puck dietary supplement, one of
the cans contains beer." (Troy Gordon in Tulsa World)
Dick Bell sends along copies of excuses written by the parents of
children absent from school. They're authentic.
"My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P;E. Please
execute l'dm."
"'Please e me Blanche from P.E. for a few days. Ymtm lay she fell
out of a tree and misplaced her hip."
"'My dmqlhter was al~ yesterday because She was tired. She
spent the weekend with the Marines."
"Please excuse Joey Friday. He had loose vowels."
"'Mary could not come to school because abe was bothered wtih
very dose eins."
"Mary Ann was absent because she had a fev ,.sore throat,
headache and up t stomach. Her sister was also - fev and sore
throat. Her brother had a low wade temp and Itched all ov~'. ! wa~'t
ft eling the best, either, sore throat and fever. There mint he the Pm
going around. Her father even got hot last night;"
(Alex Thien in Milwaukee Sentinel)
By STANLEY ROSENBLATT
(Editor's note: The author, a
Miami attorney, is a trial specialist
in the tort field. He has written
two books).
The crime statistics recently
released by the FBI show a
continuing and inexorable trend
- the increase of lawlessness
everywhere (urban, suburban and
rural). Approximately one out of
fifty serious crimes results in a
conviction. This statistic becomes
even more incredible when we
realize that most crime is never
reported to the authorities.
One-half of all criminal arrests
in the United States are for
drunkenness, disorderly conduct,
vagrancy and gambling. This
preoccupation with victimlem
mimes is a root cause of our
nation's failure to solve real
crimes like murder, robbery, rape,
aggravated assault and burglary.
The mple truth is that crime
pays all too well.
Cynics and law violaters are
created every time a murder or
robbery goes unsolved. Any
criminal justice system worth its
name must be successful in
apprehending and punishing
criminals. Ours fails to meet this
obvious priority.
Because law and l Olitics are
intertwined in America we have
been conditioned to believe that
the criminal law is our primary
instrument for establishing
desirable patterns of behavior.
.Consider all the unenforced and
unenforceable laws against
adultery, fornication,
pornography, drug and drink
intake, and prostitution.
The American middle-class
must disabuse itself of the
dangerous notion that its
l ofemed moralistic values can be
enfercod by police, prosecutors
and judges. The law can
effectively provide remedies for
relatively few wrongs on an
intespenoul level (absent the use
of fe¢ce).
There is no criminal justice
system in America. There can be
no system while amateur police
are split into forty thousand
separate departments or while
harried and politicized deal
makers called prosecutors
negotiate 90 per cent of their
convictions. There can be no
system while poorly trained, hack.
judges know more about getting
out the vote than they do about
the United States Constitution. In
' England the average time between
Page 4 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, July 3, 1975
arrest and trial is one month; irl
America the average time is never!
We have never been serious
about crime and law enforcement
in this country. If we were, the
situation would never have been
permitted to deteriorate to its
present pitiful state. As but one
example, the field of traffic
regulation occupies a totally
disproportionate amount of time
and effort by the three basic
branches of any criminal justice
system - police, prosecutors and
judges.
Police should be removed
from traffic control altogether,
and prosecutors and judges should
stop playing at trying traffic
offenses. The criminal trial is not
an institution meant to deal with
millions of petty traffic violations
each year. There can be no
adversary proceeding when a
hearing is expected to take five
minutes and where twenty
minutes is regarded as an
intolerable fih'buster.
Civilians could be trained in
short order to enforce traffic
laws. Speeding, like drunk driving,
fi
is a scientific question rather than
a judicial one. If a violator refused
to stop or otherwise resisted, then
the traffic enforcer could
summon the police. Policemen
should be solving crimes and
apprehending criminals and
preparing their testimony in
important trials; they should not
be wasting time waiting to testify
about an improper U-turn.
We must come to understand
the real function of law as well as
its limitations. The law must
protect us from others, not from
ourselves.
It is self defeating to attempt
to regulate purely personal habits•
We are extraordinarily slow
learners in this country, for
certainly our Prohibition debacle
should have taught us once and
for all that laws are an ineffective
weapon in the battle against
"immorality."
Hypocritical laws which are
selectively enforced actually
stimulate the aggrandizement of
organized crime and are in
themselves a debasing and
corrupting influence.
We must aboli all laws
against pornography, abortion
and consensual sexual acts. We
must stop calling acts crimes
which have no victims like
vagrancy and disorderly conduct.
The full panoply of constitutional
due process is a luxury we cannot
afford for the ordinary trivial
offense.
Professionalism and the
scientific method must replace
politics throughout our entire
criminal justice system. We must
establish high national standards
for the employment of law
enforcement personnel. We need
regional police departments
headed by career administrators.
Reform cannot be the answer.
To paraphrase John Dean, "There
is a cancer growing on justice and
law enforcement." What we must
have immediately is devastating
structural changes in many of our
political institutions and a total
divorce of law enforcement from
politics.
Reprinted from Jndicatme,
May issue.
When the adoring throng of thousands turned out on March 19 to watch the
swallows return to California's old mission at San Juan Capistrano, most of them
probably didn't even realize that a less romantic bird, a buzzard, had already
upstaged the cliff swallows.
On March 15, after their long winter sojourn to the south, the large, gaunt
turkey buzzards were welcomed back to a small town near Cleveland, Hinckley,
Ohio, with festivities and thousands of buzzard watchers. For as long as residents
can remember, the ugly but dependable birds have returned to Hinckley on the
same day, though no one made much of a fuss of it until newspapers noted the
event in 1957. The notoriety drew about 9,000 buzzard watchers, and the birds
were unofficially established as Hinckley's official harbingers of spring and a
marvelous excuse for an annual party.
Reports have it that the buzzards are never invited because of their terrible
table manners. They thrive on refuse and can subsist on carrion that other local
animals would not touch.
A local schoolteacher composed a song called "The Buzzard Bump," and a
poet in Cleveland wrote "The Buzzards of Hinckley." The shoulder patch on the
town's police uniform was even redesigned to depict three soaring buzzards set
against a rising sun.
~lllllllllll
lilt
Editor, TIll: prevail, let the penalty be equal:
Now : time for allthe crime. Let the person
registered of Washington what the penalty is before
State to themselves in she commits the crime, that,
regards to punishment. Be many crimes will not
sure you ned only once; committed, reducing both cr
petition ifore June 27. and the number of criminals.
118,000 vmures will place person who believes that a
the issue ndatory capital penalty does not deter crime
punishme the November not know human behavior
ballot so ." people's voice dreaming.
will be hhis initiative, if This initiative's eond
passed, ake the death passed in the Seante 33-14. ]
penalty tory for the House members copped-outl
murderemven different not facing the issue and killd
situations, by referring it to the Re
If by continue toC o m m i t t e e. P o s s i bl
have a governor (as Representatives Conner
we now md he or she Savage can explain this. I
comrnutesath sentence or If you need copies of petiti
is declare0stitutional, the call 898-2808 or 426-3077
penalty wfe imprisonment 426-5779. Let's do what 1
with NO ion, NO parole, courts and legislators failed to|
NO reducl time, and NO
work releatrlough possible.
This, c of Washington, (Editor's Note: This letter
is your tunity to do received two weeks ago.
s omethinstructive in
an oversight on the editor's
correcting f the evils of our
was not printed before
judicial , the injustice deadline mentioned in the
which has done bY th'bAlthough that
"soft-heartlges, juries and passed, the writer has asked
"courts'heir permissive his letter be published to
dealings wiinals. Of this we forth his views on the
have had, . Let justice penalty.)
krn,
H. ,. • ,as
IS txlr I
By
JIM
F RALD
[ISS Wltl
didn't mean to but[manai
Majorral Kenneth Houghton " ,
raemi:dedddCOTPlwet;leYif rng:t::;tr;etelebrate the}c 3[¢er°gc:
Y " chnok
That lay 8, 1945; the day World War II end ntrdi
Europe. ~or readers, this is a war story.., lCorm
When of the German surrender came, I was ~ I-fi~itc
hospztal zburb of Munich. I had been suffering therefore
syphilie risked his life for us, bravely ignodng d "n_s
by
warnings ¢ training films," the sign said. ~ _
lit
A ctua~had the flu. I got sick sleeping on the st~ha~:
ground ir lousy rain. That's why, even today, ~-~ '
7 o ¢,!ts I ea ng, I automatically retort: "W
i;¢e, wo : didn't it?'"
Anyw the time the army shuffled my
body throeveral tent cities and finally into a
was no lolick. But I kept moaning and even put a
of soap inarmpit. It is a military myth that you can
yourself a' by putting soap under your arms. All it
is force yO~alk with your arms tight by your sides. But I a few extra days in bed anyway. I
doctor I ~1 that way because I'd swallowed my
think I of to prove it by spitting bullets, or
like that. t en 30 years and I can't remember
You rwonder what's the point in revealing
cowardice his late date. The point is that I
coward, I a typical soldier. We weren't really
but we we fools, either. Happiness was where the
weren't. F~ldiers are the same today.
Whenebu hear a soldier begging the doctor to lel
out of the,ital, even though he has 2 broken legs,
can "get lag my buddies and kill some more
Germans" vhenever you hear that you know
popcorn fo. in the lobby.
Major Iral Houghton, who turned my calendar
to 1945, ismander of the 3rd Marine Division. It
men who ated the wrong island in the bloody
the Mayag Cambodia. He beat his breast on TV
explained vt was such a great victory for his boys:
"At tlxk of sounding like a warmonger, I
describe it lixir for morale. These young marines
been trainild want to get out and do a job." That's
he said. ,, j
An eli is a potion with magical powers to re~ Ch~
and cure. Tuneful is claiming his men get bored and
just trainin kill. It makes them feel much betteIi
experience 'eal thing - to shoot at live targets and t!
shot back abturn.
Of couthe elixir failed the marines who died
Mayaguez aCure. It didn't do much for those
missing, fit]And it probably doesn't help those
much to their sons weren't bored when they
killed.
Given a ice, in 1945 or 1975, most marines
pick a weeb in San Diego as a much greater elixir
invading an d.
At the of sounding disrespectful, I'd say
Houghton sta be selling the popcorn in the lobby.
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Mailing Addreox 430, Shelton, Wa. 98584 Phone
Publish¢ 227 West Cota Street, Shelton, Mason County,
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E31TOR ANE~LISHER ......................