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Newspaper Archive of
Shelton Mason County Journal
Shelton, Washington
July 24, 1975     Shelton Mason County Journal
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July 24, 1975
 
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It's time to bring some old sayings up to date. Fast-moving events of the day, as they say in the news business, have changed old saws into quaint nostalgia items. Here we go: A penny saved just adds to the recession. If you work hard, keep your nose to the grindstone and save your money you will end up with a bad back, a sore nose and a tax problem. What this country needs is a good twenty-cent cigar. Early to bed and early to rise and Johnny Carson would soon be walking the ties. Honesty is the best policy if you want to lose an election. Drink is the curse of the working class, the leisure class and the freshman, sophomore, junior and senior classes. Pennies make dimes and dimes make 58-cent dollars. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil: for Gerald with his finger on the button art with me. "hN Ht TORtC PAY "/.0N6 -#VE I £T TE" "NOW, Wfl S Wt E" Nothing ventured, nothing taxable. A jug of wine, a loaf of bread and thou beside me singing in the multiple use area. He went past me going like fifty-five. Send me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, and I'll find them a nice place to live in Spanish Harlem or the South Bronx. It takes a heap of interest to make a house a home. We have nothing to fear but fear itself if we overlook poverty, hunger, pollution, alcoholism, unemployment, racism, secret police, inflation, recession, crooked public officials and nuclear holocaust. Give me eight televised football games a week or give me death. Every American child has the opportunity to grow up to be the president of his country if he can shed his ethics by the time he's thirty-five. Tom, Tom, the piper's son, stole a pig and became independently wealthy. One pornographic picture is worth a thousand words and 63 million paid admissions. What goes up needn't come down if you can corner the market. Fast food is the opiate of the masses. A stitch in time puts people in the garment industry out of work. Honor thy father and mother by putting them in a rest home with color television. Roses are red; violets are blue; sugar is sweet and costs an arm and a leg. Fire when you see they're not white-eyes. Mary had a little lamb; she had a job y'know. Her neighbors had some beans and bread and watched a daytime show. By JIM FITZGERALD What this nation needs is more of George Kell's super optimism: The Arab who will one day sell 20-cent gasoline has already been born and is currently getting all A's at the Abdullah School of Camel Lubricatiin in Princeton, New Jersey. George Kell is the TV announcer for Detroit Tiger baseball games. No matter how far behind the Tigers may fall, Kell always retains hope. No matter how deathly dark the situation, he can always see light at the end of the runway. If the score is tied, and the Tigers have a runner on 3rd in the 9th inning, Kell's optimism is easy. "Detroit has the winning run on 3rd base," he'll say. Or the situation may be only slightly worse and he'll say: "Detroit has the tying run on 1 st base and the winning run at bat." Or, as things get just a little desperate, "Detroit has the tying run at bat and the winning run in the waiting batter's circle." Recently the Tigers experienced a terrible slump, losing something like 18 out of 20 games by lopsided scores. During such times, Kell is liable to say such things as: "The Tigers have the tying run in the dugout and the winning run is in the runway between the dugout and the locker room, sneaking a smoke." Or: "The Tigers have the tying run coming in on a bus from Toledo and the winning run is graduating from high school next week with 2 Tiger scouts attending commencement exercises." Or: "Detroit has the tying run in the waiting batter's circle at a Pee Wee League game in Roanoke, West Virginia. The winning run is sparkling in the eye of Stud Jacobs, former Tiger 1st baseman who now umpires in a woman's ftball league in Boise, Idaho, and has the hots for a shortstop named Katherine." It is easy to see how Kell's super optimismcan be applied outside the ballpark. My friend Joe was complaining because he has been out of work for 2 years and his wife left him. "Cheer up," I told him, "President Ford and his economic advisers all agree the recession has bottomed out. This means they are running out of bottoms to kick, and yours may be one of them." This made Joe sit a little easier, but there was still the problem with his wife. Joe used to write to Ann Landers for domestic advice and he was really shook when Ann admitted she couldn't get along with her husband, the finest man in the world, and she is getting a divorce. "If Ann Landers can't get along with the greatest husband in the world," Joe asked, "how can she tell me how to get along with my rotten wife?" "Cheer up," I told him. "Jean Dixon has just predicted that Dorothy Dix will soon be reincarnated as a cat. Dorothy was giving wise advice to troubled spouses before Ann Landers was old enough to tell a boy if he really loved her he'd wait. Just put a saucer of milk on your porch. The next time you see your wife, she will probably be something the cat dragged in." Joe thanked me. "I really appreciate your optimism," he said. "That's OK," I said. "Just remember that in the game of life, you never know who may be the winning run. Don't die on 3rd. That stranger on the corner may really be a Designated Hitter just waiting to knock you into the win column. The game is never over until the last out and even then you can still appeal to the commissioner's office." "If this game goes into extra innings," Joe said, "I am going to throw up." Heaven, mace and karate protect the working girl. Let's have another cup of coffee; let's have another piece of water, corn syrup, bananas, shortening, graham cracker meal, reconstituted nonfat dry milk (dry skim milk) and dry whole milk, sugar, modified whey (sweet whey solids, sodium caseiuate, sodium phosphate, nonfat dry milk (dry skim milk), lecithin, calcium phosphate, calcium oxide), starch, gelatin, carboxymethyl cellulose, salt, mono- and diglycerides, polysorbate 60, artificial flavors and color, lecithin. How's this for a scenario of how to conduct the multi-billion dollar business of the State of Washington? A bunch of delayed adolescents show up in Olympia, each one sucking his thumb. Some are Senators. Some are Representatives. The Senators stick out their tongues at the Representatives. The Representatives stick out their tongues at the Senators. The Senators stick out their tongues at the Governor. The Governor shoves some Representatives and they shove some Senators. The Senators put their thumbs back in their mouths, wet their pants and go home. The Representatives put their thumbs back in their mouths, show the Senators they aren't the only statesmen who can wet their pants, and go home. The Governor takes his thumb out of his mouth and sticks out his tongue at both Senators and Representatives in living color on the boob tube, wets his pants and goes home to plan a trade mission to Outer Mongolia. If the voters have any sense, they will send all the thumbsuckers home permanently the next time their names appear on a ballot. By ROBERT C. CUMMINGS Despite the all-time record it already has set for days spent in session, the 44th Legislature plans to continue its committee work during the interims. The House of Representatives Rules Committee already has approved interim subcommittee assignments of 11 of its 16 standing committees. Some of the standing committees plan more than a dozen studies of as many issues and problems. Several will work jointly on specific problems such as environmental health and safety in relation to nuclear installations, medical malpractice and criminal sentencing. Because of uncertainties involving length of additional special sessions, dales for the various meetings won't be set, however, until later. Repair Services Attract Attention The House Commerce Committee headed by Frank Warnke, Auburn, will take up where it left off in the previous biennium in the field of consumerism. Its subcommittee on consumer protection will investigate further complaints regarding automobile repair and television repair services. Proposed legislation for regulating automotive repair services was shelved during the previous biennium, but the subcommittee will study this problem further by exploring two • philosophies, one calling for the • licensing of automobile dealers; the other, licensing of automobile mechanics. The subcommittee also will survey advisability of enacting legislation similar to HB 411, introduced in the first session this year, which would license "IV Page 4 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, July 24, 1975 repair shops and repairmen. Possible regulation of cable television also is on the agenda, including a study of what other states are doing, and consideration of a number of imaginative plans being implemented in some states. Members of the subcommittee in addition to Warnke are Lorraine Wojahn, Tacoma; John L. O'Brien and AI Williams, both Seattle, all Democrats; and Robert Curtis, Wenatchee, and Ben Dunlap, Bellevue, both Republicans. Three of the standing committees, Financial Institutions and Insurance, headed by Dave Ceccarelli, Seattle; Judiciary, headed by Walt Knowles, Spokane; and Social and Health Services, chaired by A. A. Adams, Tacoma, will study problems created by medical malpractice suits. In a letter to the House Rules Committee, Adams wrote that the higher insurance premiums charged to both physicians in private practice and to hospitals have resulted directly in the higher fees now charged patients. The insurance costs, he wrote, escalated because of the increasing frequency of malpractice suits during the past 10 years, with settlements for large sums becoming commonplace• ~l~~~~ll~~~~~~~~~lll~~l~~l~ll~l~l~~l~~~~~~lll~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~l~~~~lllll~l~l~~~~~~~~~l~l~ll~~~~~l~l~~~l~l~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mack McGinnis' l~~~~ll~~~~~~~~~ml~~l~~~~~~llllll~~~~~~~~~~u~~~~~~~~~~~~ll~~~~~~~l~l~l~~~l~~~l~~l~lll~~~~~~~~l~l~~~ul~~~~~~~lll~~~l~~ Dr. S. I. Hayakawa, former San Francisco State College president and lecturer: "Hundreds more McDonalds are planned for Japan. And I can't think of a better revenge for Pear Harbor." (Herin Albright in Perry Township Weekly) Pat Crow once dreamt something which was so astounding he decided to get up and write it down. He did, and the next morning when he looked at the pad, he found he had written: "'I must write that down." (Troy Gordon in Tulsa World) Overheard: "He's so lazy that he doesn't even believe in the pursuit of happiness - he thinks it ought to be brought to him on a tray." (James Dent in Charleston Gazette) Ronaid Reagan says he is "genuinely undecided" about whether he'll run for President. English translation: He hasn't lined up his major contn'butors or picked a running mate yet. (Bill Gold in Washington Post) A! Hertwig insists CIA really means Igaught In the Act. (Alex Thien in Milwaukee Sentinel) He added that in addition to costs problems, many doctors are now practicing "defensive medicine," avoiding any treatment which might be risky; many are considering retiring to avoid the risk of suits, and others are refusing to take new patients. The three committees will study the various solutions proposed, and try to determine which are most applicable to the situation in this state. Aerosol To Be Probed A bill introduced during the marathon special session by Rep. Georgette Valle (D-Seattle), HB 1055, has prompted a study by the Social and Health Services Committee in liaison with the Ecology Committee headed by Ed Luders, Spokane. The measure would ban sale of all aerosol products in this state. Introduced late, it purposely was laid aside because it was considered too complex a subject to be taken up during the session; but assurance was given at that time it would be given exhaustive study during the interim. Nearly all of the studies planned have substantial public interest, but those which probably will capture the most headlines are those contemplated by the House Commerce Committee's subcommittee on social concerns. Heading the list as far as public interest is concerned is a major sqrdy to be developed into an issue never before brought before the Washington Legislature _ the legalization and licensing of prostitution. Legislation in this field was introduced as HB 727 by Hugh Kalich (D-Chehalis) and assigned to the Commerce Committee," Editor, The Journal: It is your turn to help those who have helped you. We have a great many senior citizens who are receiving less than two hundred dollars a month, between whatever pension and Social Security they are receiving, when the minimum should be three hundred dollars a month for anyone over 65 years. We can be the first state in the union to add to their present pensions and guarantee them $300 a month. To do so, all we have to do is to add one percent to the present sales tax for six months out of each The amount sales tax would more than enough the senior citizens year. And if we that we don't need | six months, we can three or four This extra would be a great economy because right back into month. By SHAWN CROWLEY University of Washington Daily The United States has entered its two Predictably, commentators grl the red, white and blue reamful. For the center of attention is on major events such as impeachment of Nixon, urban decay and the seen against the pageant of Jefferson, the Bill of', Freedom for All. All well and good but often the most salient can be found in the seemingly trivial. Like program S.W.A.T. in particular. For those of you existing in the cultural this University who might be unfamiliar with explanation. The Special Weapons Attack para-military police unit armed with flack vests, psychotic officers. Whenever the cop on the problem, S.W.A.T. roars into action with since the Panzers hit the Czech border. A summary of last week's show: Dr. Brunner humanistic professor who once did He decides to join a group of idealistic stockpiling of chemical-biological warfare agents' chemical plant. Unbeknownst to Brunner and organizers of the demonstration are terrorists concealed in their picket signs. Gaining plant through guile, the terrorists take it over the entire city with lingering death unless million devalued dollars. But S.W.A.T. appears wiping out the terrorists and chastizing the Brunner and company. This melodrama enables S.W.A.T. to wave automatic weapons, infra-red sniper scopes grimaces. They unload more ammunition in an hour': every police department in the country in a year's time and at the least provocation. The group commander is just a regular joe faint twitch around the lips which almost turns when the time comes to blow away some hapless The S.W.A.T. sharpshooter is ano figure who has such dialog as, "Let him get in I'll blow that turkey out of his shoes." So, in the course of sixty minutes sans members of the academic community are bumbling idiots needing supervision by as naive dupes needing maturity, and passive-aggressives as saviors of us all. Particularly chilling are the continual any exercise of First Amendment rights subversive and is potentially violent. So what. It's only a television program. mass cultural propaganda. Effective propaganda is one of the most highly rated productions air-waves. It disparages the courts, lauds the executioner on the street. Take away the law-breaker and law-enforcer would be indistin Violence is often the only resort in this world i it should be last resort. S.W.A.T. makes it an wallows in it. The great glass teat has made its phosphor dot reality. So excessive is the program police guilds country have written in complaint, realizing that is tarnished enough without help from S.W.A.T. The producer, Spelling Goldberg, responds have excitement without violence and besides, the what it wants. Maybe so. Maybe on America's two Americans as a whole have reached such a nothing less than a bullet in a brain pan can interest. I hope not. I would like one day to give inflated speeches about freedom, respect for the Jefferson and the Bill of Rights without knowing was done everyone would file home to enjoy mangled flesh and the sound of jack-boots. Founded 1886 by Grant C. Angle Mailing Address: Box 430, Shelton, Wa. 98584 Published at 227 West Cota Street, Shelton, Washington 98584, weekly. Second-class postage paid at Shelton Member of National Editorial Association Member of Washington Newspaper Publishers' SUBSCRIPTION RATES: $6.00 per year in in advance --Outside Mason County $7.50 EDITOR AND PUBLISHER