July 24, 1975 Shelton Mason County Journal | ![]() |
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It's time to bring some old sayings up to date.
Fast-moving events of the day, as they say in the news
business, have changed old saws into quaint nostalgia items.
Here we go:
A penny saved just adds to the recession.
If you work hard, keep your nose to the grindstone and
save your money you will end up with a bad back, a sore
nose and a tax problem.
What this country needs is a good twenty-cent cigar.
Early to bed and early to rise and Johnny Carson would
soon be walking the ties.
Honesty is the best policy if you want to lose an election.
Drink is the curse of the working class, the leisure class
and the freshman, sophomore, junior and senior classes.
Pennies make dimes and dimes make 58-cent dollars.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of
death I shall fear no evil: for Gerald with his finger on the
button art with me.
"hN Ht TORtC PAY
"/.0N6 -#VE I £T TE"
"NOW, Wfl S Wt E"
Nothing ventured, nothing taxable.
A jug of wine, a loaf of bread and thou beside me singing
in the multiple use area.
He went past me going like fifty-five.
Send me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, and
I'll find them a nice place to live in Spanish Harlem or the
South Bronx.
It takes a heap of interest to make a house a home.
We have nothing to fear but fear itself if we overlook
poverty, hunger, pollution, alcoholism, unemployment,
racism, secret police, inflation, recession, crooked public
officials and nuclear holocaust.
Give me eight televised football games a week or give me
death.
Every American child has the opportunity to grow up to
be the president of his country if he can shed his ethics by
the time he's thirty-five.
Tom, Tom, the piper's son, stole a pig and became
independently wealthy.
One pornographic picture is worth a thousand words and
63 million paid admissions.
What goes up needn't come down if you can corner the
market.
Fast food is the opiate of the masses.
A stitch in time puts people in the garment industry out
of work.
Honor thy father and mother by putting them in a rest
home with color television.
Roses are red; violets are blue; sugar is sweet and costs an
arm and a leg.
Fire when you see they're not white-eyes.
Mary had a little lamb; she had a job y'know. Her
neighbors had some beans and bread and watched a daytime
show.
By JIM FITZGERALD
What this nation needs is more of George Kell's super
optimism: The Arab who will one day sell 20-cent gasoline
has already been born and is currently getting all A's at the
Abdullah School of Camel Lubricatiin in Princeton, New
Jersey.
George Kell is the TV announcer for Detroit Tiger
baseball games. No matter how far behind the Tigers may
fall, Kell always retains hope. No matter how deathly dark
the situation, he can always see light at the end of the
runway.
If the score is tied, and the Tigers have a runner on 3rd in
the 9th inning, Kell's optimism is easy. "Detroit has the
winning run on 3rd base," he'll say.
Or the situation may be only slightly worse and he'll say:
"Detroit has the tying run on 1 st base and the winning run at
bat." Or, as things get just a little desperate, "Detroit has the
tying run at bat and the winning run in the waiting batter's
circle."
Recently the Tigers experienced a terrible slump, losing
something like 18 out of 20 games by lopsided scores. During
such times, Kell is liable to say such things as:
"The Tigers have the tying run in the dugout and the
winning run is in the runway between the dugout and the
locker room, sneaking a smoke."
Or: "The Tigers have the tying run coming in on a bus
from Toledo and the winning run is graduating from high
school next week with 2 Tiger scouts attending
commencement exercises."
Or: "Detroit has the tying run in the waiting batter's
circle at a Pee Wee League game in Roanoke, West Virginia.
The winning run is sparkling in the eye of Stud Jacobs,
former Tiger 1st baseman who now umpires in a woman's
ftball league in Boise, Idaho, and has the hots for a
shortstop named Katherine."
It is easy to see how Kell's super optimismcan be applied
outside the ballpark.
My friend Joe was complaining because he has been out
of work for 2 years and his wife left him.
"Cheer up," I told him, "President Ford and his
economic advisers all agree the recession has bottomed out.
This means they are running out of bottoms to kick, and
yours may be one of them."
This made Joe sit a little easier, but there was still the
problem with his wife. Joe used to write to Ann Landers for
domestic advice and he was really shook when Ann admitted
she couldn't get along with her husband, the finest man in
the world, and she is getting a divorce.
"If Ann Landers can't get along with the greatest
husband in the world," Joe asked, "how can she tell me how
to get along with my rotten wife?"
"Cheer up," I told him. "Jean Dixon has just predicted
that Dorothy Dix will soon be reincarnated as a cat. Dorothy
was giving wise advice to troubled spouses before Ann
Landers was old enough to tell a boy if he really loved her
he'd wait. Just put a saucer of milk on your porch. The next
time you see your wife, she will probably be something the
cat dragged in."
Joe thanked me. "I really appreciate your optimism," he
said.
"That's OK," I said. "Just remember that in the game of
life, you never know who may be the winning run. Don't die
on 3rd. That stranger on the corner may really be a
Designated Hitter just waiting to knock you into the win
column. The game is never over until the last out and even
then you can still appeal to the commissioner's office."
"If this game goes into extra innings," Joe said, "I am
going to throw up."
Heaven, mace and karate protect the working girl.
Let's have another cup of coffee; let's have another piece
of water, corn syrup, bananas, shortening, graham cracker
meal, reconstituted nonfat dry milk (dry skim milk) and dry
whole milk, sugar, modified whey (sweet whey solids, sodium
caseiuate, sodium phosphate, nonfat dry milk (dry skim
milk), lecithin, calcium phosphate, calcium oxide), starch,
gelatin, carboxymethyl cellulose, salt, mono- and
diglycerides, polysorbate 60, artificial flavors and color,
lecithin.
How's this for a scenario of how to conduct the
multi-billion dollar business of the State of Washington?
A bunch of delayed adolescents show up in Olympia,
each one sucking his thumb.
Some are Senators. Some are Representatives.
The Senators stick out their tongues at the
Representatives. The Representatives stick out their tongues
at the Senators.
The Senators stick out their tongues at the Governor. The
Governor shoves some Representatives and they shove some
Senators.
The Senators put their thumbs back in their mouths, wet
their pants and go home.
The Representatives put their thumbs back in their
mouths, show the Senators they aren't the only statesmen
who can wet their pants, and go home.
The Governor takes his thumb out of his mouth and
sticks out his tongue at both Senators and Representatives in
living color on the boob tube, wets his pants and goes home
to plan a trade mission to Outer Mongolia.
If the voters have any sense, they will send all the
thumbsuckers home permanently the next time their names
appear on a ballot.
By ROBERT C. CUMMINGS
Despite the all-time record it
already has set for days spent in
session, the 44th Legislature plans
to continue its committee work
during the interims.
The House of Representatives
Rules Committee already has
approved interim subcommittee
assignments of 11 of its 16
standing committees. Some of the
standing committees plan more
than a dozen studies of as many
issues and problems.
Several will work jointly on
specific problems such as
environmental health and safety
in relation to nuclear installations,
medical malpractice and criminal
sentencing.
Because of uncertainties
involving length of additional
special sessions, dales for the
various meetings won't be set,
however, until later.
Repair Services
Attract Attention
The House Commerce
Committee headed by Frank
Warnke, Auburn, will take up
where it left off in the previous
biennium in the field of
consumerism. Its subcommittee
on consumer protection will
investigate further complaints
regarding automobile repair and
television repair services.
Proposed legislation for
regulating automotive repair
services was shelved during the
previous biennium, but the
subcommittee will study this
problem further by exploring two
• philosophies, one calling for the
• licensing of automobile dealers;
the other, licensing of automobile
mechanics.
The subcommittee also will
survey advisability of enacting
legislation similar to HB 411,
introduced in the first session this
year, which would license "IV
Page 4 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, July 24, 1975
repair shops and repairmen.
Possible regulation of cable
television also is on the agenda,
including a study of what other
states are doing, and
consideration of a number of
imaginative plans being
implemented in some states.
Members of the subcommittee
in addition to Warnke are
Lorraine Wojahn, Tacoma; John
L. O'Brien and AI Williams, both
Seattle, all Democrats; and
Robert Curtis, Wenatchee, and
Ben Dunlap, Bellevue, both
Republicans.
Three of the standing
committees, Financial Institutions
and Insurance, headed by Dave
Ceccarelli, Seattle; Judiciary,
headed by Walt Knowles,
Spokane; and Social and Health
Services, chaired by A. A. Adams,
Tacoma, will study problems
created by medical malpractice
suits.
In a letter to the House Rules
Committee, Adams wrote that the
higher insurance premiums
charged to both physicians in
private practice and to hospitals
have resulted directly in the
higher fees now charged patients.
The insurance costs, he wrote,
escalated because of the
increasing frequency of
malpractice suits during the past
10 years, with settlements for
large sums becoming
commonplace•
~l~~~~ll~~~~~~~~~lll~~l~~l~ll~l~l~~l~~~~~~lll~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~l~~~~lllll~l~l~~~~~~~~~l~l~ll~~~~~l~l~~~l~l~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mack McGinnis'
l~~~~ll~~~~~~~~~ml~~l~~~~~~llllll~~~~~~~~~~u~~~~~~~~~~~~ll~~~~~~~l~l~l~~~l~~~l~~l~lll~~~~~~~~l~l~~~ul~~~~~~~lll~~~l~~
Dr. S. I. Hayakawa, former San Francisco State College president and
lecturer: "Hundreds more McDonalds are planned for Japan. And I
can't think of a better revenge for Pear Harbor."
(Herin Albright in Perry Township Weekly)
Pat Crow once dreamt something which was so astounding he decided
to get up and write it down. He did, and the next morning when he
looked at the pad, he found he had written: "'I must write that down."
(Troy Gordon in Tulsa World)
Overheard: "He's so lazy that he doesn't even believe in the pursuit of
happiness - he thinks it ought to be brought to him on a tray."
(James Dent in Charleston Gazette)
Ronaid Reagan says he is "genuinely undecided" about whether he'll
run for President. English translation: He hasn't lined up his major
contn'butors or picked a running mate yet.
(Bill Gold in Washington Post)
A! Hertwig insists CIA really means Igaught In the Act.
(Alex Thien in Milwaukee Sentinel)
He added that in addition to
costs problems, many doctors are
now practicing "defensive
medicine," avoiding any
treatment which might be risky;
many are considering retiring to
avoid the risk of suits, and others
are refusing to take new patients.
The three committees will
study the various solutions
proposed, and try to determine
which are most applicable to the
situation in this state.
Aerosol To Be Probed
A bill introduced during the
marathon special session by Rep.
Georgette Valle (D-Seattle), HB
1055, has prompted a study by
the Social and Health Services
Committee in liaison with the
Ecology Committee headed by Ed
Luders, Spokane.
The measure would ban sale
of all aerosol products in this
state. Introduced late, it
purposely was laid aside because
it was considered too complex a
subject to be taken up during the
session; but assurance was given at
that time it would be given
exhaustive study during the
interim.
Nearly all of the studies
planned have substantial public
interest, but those which
probably will capture the most
headlines are those contemplated
by the House Commerce
Committee's subcommittee on
social concerns. Heading the list
as far as public interest is
concerned is a major sqrdy to be
developed into an issue never
before brought before the
Washington Legislature _ the
legalization and licensing of
prostitution.
Legislation in this field was
introduced as HB 727 by Hugh
Kalich (D-Chehalis) and assigned
to the Commerce Committee,"
Editor, The Journal:
It is your turn to help those
who have helped you. We have a
great many senior citizens who
are receiving less than two
hundred dollars a month, between
whatever pension and Social
Security they are receiving, when
the minimum should be three
hundred dollars a month for
anyone over 65 years.
We can be the first state in the
union to add to their present
pensions and guarantee them
$300 a month. To do so, all we
have to do is to add one percent
to the present sales tax for six
months out of each
The amount
sales tax would
more than enough
the senior citizens
year. And if we
that we don't need |
six months, we can
three or four
This extra
would be a great
economy because
right back into
month.
By SHAWN CROWLEY
University of Washington Daily
The United States has entered its two
Predictably, commentators
grl
the red, white and blue reamful. For the
center of attention is on major events such as
impeachment of Nixon, urban decay and the
seen against the pageant of Jefferson, the Bill of',
Freedom for All.
All well and good but often the most salient
can be found in the seemingly trivial. Like
program S.W.A.T. in particular.
For those of you existing in the cultural
this University who might be unfamiliar with
explanation. The Special Weapons Attack
para-military police unit armed with flack vests,
psychotic officers. Whenever the cop on the
problem, S.W.A.T. roars into action with
since the Panzers hit the Czech border.
A summary of last week's show: Dr. Brunner
humanistic professor who once did
He decides to join a group of idealistic
stockpiling of chemical-biological warfare agents'
chemical plant. Unbeknownst to Brunner and
organizers of the demonstration are terrorists
concealed in their picket signs. Gaining
plant through guile, the terrorists take it over
the entire city with lingering death unless
million devalued dollars. But S.W.A.T. appears
wiping out the terrorists and chastizing the
Brunner and company.
This melodrama enables S.W.A.T. to wave
automatic weapons, infra-red sniper scopes
grimaces.
They unload more ammunition in an hour':
every police department in the country
in a year's time and at the least provocation.
The group commander is just a regular joe
faint twitch around the lips which almost turns
when the time comes to blow away some hapless
The S.W.A.T. sharpshooter is ano
figure who has such dialog as, "Let him get in
I'll blow that turkey out of his shoes."
So, in the course of sixty minutes sans
members of the academic community are
bumbling idiots needing supervision by
as naive dupes needing maturity, and
passive-aggressives as saviors of us all.
Particularly chilling are the continual
any exercise of First Amendment rights
subversive and is potentially violent.
So what. It's only a television program.
mass cultural propaganda. Effective propaganda
is one of the most highly rated productions
air-waves. It disparages the courts, lauds the
executioner on the street. Take away the
law-breaker and law-enforcer would be indistin
Violence is often the only resort in this world i
it should be last resort. S.W.A.T. makes it an
wallows in it. The great glass teat has made
its phosphor dot reality.
So excessive is the program police guilds
country have written in complaint, realizing that
is tarnished enough without help from S.W.A.T.
The producer, Spelling Goldberg, responds
have excitement without violence and besides, the
what it wants.
Maybe so. Maybe on America's two
Americans as a whole have reached such a
nothing less than a bullet in a brain pan can
interest. I hope not. I would like one day to give
inflated speeches about freedom, respect for the
Jefferson and the Bill of Rights without knowing
was done everyone would file home to enjoy
mangled flesh and the sound of jack-boots.
Founded 1886 by Grant C. Angle
Mailing Address: Box 430, Shelton, Wa. 98584
Published at 227 West Cota Street, Shelton,
Washington 98584, weekly.
Second-class postage paid at Shelton
Member of National Editorial Association
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