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Page 4 — Shelton-MasOn County Journal — Thursday, Aug. 24, 2023
‘You Can’t Prove I Did Anything Wrong!’
one-scene play
t’s late afternoon in a
principal’s office at an
expensive private middle
school. In attendance are
the principal, an 11-year—old
boy, and the boy’s mother
and father. The boy faces
possible expulsion for sev—
eral alleged oilenses.
PRINCIPAL: Let’s get to
it, shall we? We’re all here
to figure out what will be
most helpful
SON: I didn’t do it! What-
ever they say I did, I didn’t
do it. They’re liars. You can’t
prove I did anything wrong!
MOTHER (patting her
son’s knee): Now, now. I’m
sure you didn‘t, but let’s
hear what your principal has
to say.
FATHER (staring at his
son): You need to shut up.
PRINCIPAL: OK, let’s
calm down. (Looking at the
parents) Your son has been
involved in several incidents
lately that are forcing us to
consider the possibility of a
one—week suspension, which
is
SON: I
FATHER (balling up his
hand and staring at his son):
Shut it. Now. You’ll speak
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when I say you can. (Looking
at the principal) Continue.
PRINCIPAL: Ahem. As
I was saying, a one—week
suspension is the second—
most severe punishment
we can take here at Kew-
Forest School. If we have to
go down that. road and your
boy’s behavior doesn’t im-
prove, we’ll he talking about
permanent expulsion from
our school.
MOTHER (touching her
necklace): Oh, dear. What on
earth are you accusing my
boy of doing?
PRINCIPAL: We’ve re-
ceived quite a few reports
of misbehavior. For (me,
several girls have told their
teachers that your boy
kissed them alter they told
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him not to. Some of those
girls have asked to be trans—
ferred to other classrooms to
get away from your son. One
girl’s parents even took the
extreme measure of enroll-
ing her in another school in
another state.
MOTHER: Oh, dear.
FATHER (looking at his
son while speaking to the
principal): What are the
girls’ names?
PRINCIPAL: Sir, we’re
not doing that. Enough girls
are sharing similar stories to
suggest a pattern of behavior
here.
FATHER (staring at his
son while addressing the
principal): So, we have a
bunch of random girls mak—
ing anonymous complaints.
What else?
PRINCIPAL: Uh. OK. At
least half a dozen parents
have come to me to say your
son has been a bad influence
on their children, encourag-
ing them to behave in a way
that gets them in serious
trouble. For instance, your
son reportedly convinced
one boy to pull a chair away
from underneath Serge —» you
know the crippled boy who
uses crutches to get around?
as he was sitting down.
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MOTHER: Oh, dear.
FATHER (staring at prin—
cipal l: What else?
PRINCIPAL: Let’s see
Just last week, four kids
came together to our vice
principal’s office to say your
boy had promised them $50
if they gave him $25. He
told them he had an uncle
who had made a scientific
breakthrough in physics
and that the uncle, Uncle
John I believe was the name
he used, had promised to
give him $2,000 for his 12th
birthday. And we have it
all in writing (the principal
slides the agreement toward
his parents. The father ig—
nores it. The mother gives it
a glance.) The kids not only
didn’t get $50, they didn’t
get their $225 back.
MOTHER: Oh, dear.
FATHER l looking bored):
And?
PRINCIPAL: Did you
know that your boy ran for
class president?
MOTHER: Yes! We were
so proud ot‘him!
PRINCIPAL: Well, he
lost. By a lot. And I have in
my possession signed state»
, ments from three of your
hi’iys’ classmates who say
your son came to them and
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'23
Shelton—Maxan County
JOURNAL
tried to get them to change
the count. One boy even re-
corded the encounter on a
tape recorder.
FATHER: So That’s it?
PRINCIPAL: Isn’t that
enough?
FATHER: (The father
spreads his knees apart and
leans in close to the princi-
pal. He steeples his finger—
tips as he rests his elbows
between his thighs.) I’ll tell
y0u what’s “enough” -— the
amount of money I have
pledged to this school over
the next three years. If you
kick my kid out, that money
is gone. And I’ll sue you and
the school for breach of con~
tract. Are we clear?
MOTHER: Fred, don’t you
FATHER: Hush. We’re
done here. (Motioning to his
wife and son as he stands).
Let’s go.
(As the three walk out
ot'the principal’s office, the
father leans over to his boy
and whispers in his ear.)
FATHER: Remember this,
young man: Never, ever,
ever, ever, ever put anything
in writing.
I ('rirt/r/rrl Kirk Fl‘ir'son rI/
Ireit‘Iemi‘masoncountycom
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