October 26, 1967 Shelton Mason County Journal | ![]() |
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October 26, 1967 |
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The Acid-.,°,... i"
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o,O,,esarei,,,provi.,da.s dep00ment wa. in 0
Today's teenagers may suffer from more hangups VULCAN tUNITiONS CORP.
these fast-moving times than their parents did in the good
but in the humor they're ahead /
of the horrible jokes that made mama and papa laugh.
We can remember a United States history
teacherma gnarled gnome who had appointed
himself the school witmwho chalked a new joke
on the blackboard every day and evoked parox-
ysms of laughter from his students with jewels
such as: "What time is it when one Ford follows
another? Tin after tin."
When this certificated clown was in a racy mood, he
would breathlessly Ietter a joke alluding to the outstand-
ing physical properties of Mae West, which were a national
institution in those days. The times being what they were,
he couldn't make any really pointed reference, but the
sophomores whispered for weeks afterwards.
We much prefer the humor currently being written on
the blackboard in Mrs. Irene Fleenor's English classroom
by Shelton High School students. Under the heading
"Poet's Corner" recently appeared the following:
"Sophia Loren wasn't built in a day." Neither
was Mac West (but the comic of our high school
days was trying so hard o be naughty, he
couldn't come up with a truly funny line.
Some of the kids' current humor shows a disenchant-
ment with this well-ordered world we built for them. For
example:
War is profitable; invest your son.
God gave us the bomb; use it!
Is there life after birth ?
America--land of murder, madness, sex, and the best
"Not bad, Ralph, not bad at all. And how's the Great Great Society treating you?"
-- from the Sunday Oregonian
d*mn ice cream in the world.
Others which appeared on the blackboard this week
run the gamut of current topics, from marijuana to politics
A sampling:
Grass won't wear off as the day wears on.
Ronald Reagan for Fuehrer.
Capitol dome:
Paid commission proposed to study constitution
Flower power has gone to pot.
If communism is so great, why don't they
put up a picture window instead of an inon cur-
tain ?
For God so loved the Red Chinese, he made a multitude
of them.
The awareness of their children to the irony
of most of these jokes may make parents uneasy,
but its hard to deny that they are better than the
one about the moron who jumped off the Empire
State building to prove he had guts, which was
the top knee-slapper when i0' them:;ere
Letter box:
Proud of our city
Editor, the Journal:
I am proud of our city. I have
been a resident of Shelton for
24 years. What makes me proud
of this community is its citizens
and business men. All of my
contacts with them have been
pleasant.
What makes this city so un-
usual? One thing is the honesty
of the citizens and their concern
for others in time of need or
sorrow. It has not been tainted
by the feeling of big cities, whose
residents couldn't care less for
their neighbors.
A city is judged by its business
men. Their ability to conduct
their affairs with dignity, har-
mony and sound business ethics
is a "must".
With these guide lines to fol-
low I feel it is a pleasure to
recommend to the voters of Shel-
ton the incumbents. I like to
judge a man by the three C's
Character, Capacity and Capa-
bility. These men measure up to
all three,
K. W. Frank
Shelton
By ROBERT C. CUM:MINGS
There weren't any big sur-
prises in the Constitutional Re-
vision Committee's report to the
Governor. principally because
the approaches to constitutional
revision are limited by the pres-
ent constitution.
The closest thing to a new ap-
proach was the recommendation
that Governor Dan Evans ap-
point a full-time, salaried com-
mission to start work immedi-
ately on a proposed new con-
stitution. The committee, headed
by Secretary of State Lud Kram-
.... :,.or, had been leaning toward a
constitutional revision commis-
sion- throughout:-its sessions.:-,:
The idea of a salaried com-
mission, however, is new. It was
felt that a commission which
could devote full time to the task
is needed to get the job done.
The idea is to have a proposed
new constitution ready for sub-
mission to the next regular ses-
sion of the Legislature.
Inasmuch as the Constitutional
Revision Committee was Gover-
nor Evans' idea in the first
place, it is probable that he will
follow its recommendations. (He
personally delegated Kramer to
set up the committee. The Gov-
ernor can establish the commis-
sion by executive order, and fi-
nance it with an allocation from
his emergency fund.
SUPPORT WITH AN "IF"
As the committee favors con-
stitutional revision as quickly as
possible, it was expected also
that it would endorse Attorney
Attention, men:
Put on your thinking caps
By JANE GOODSELL
Him: ",uess who I bumped into today ?
Sam Murchise! You may not remember
him because yott,only met him once about
20 years ago. We had him to dinner at our
apartment the first winter after we were
married."
Her: "it was summer. We had
chilled vichyssoise and cold salmon
and corn on the oob for dinner."
Him: "Say, hon, d'you remember that
earthquake we had a few years back ? It
must have been about 1959, I'd say."
Her: "November 1957. Bobby had
just turned two, and I thought that
whatever was happening to the house
was his fault."
Him: "I'll never forget the day Miranda
had her kittens on Sally's bed. It was a
Sunday morning and... "
Her: "Nope, Saturday• I'd just
changed the sheets."
Him: "What a case of the flu that was !
I went to bed feeling fine and woke up on
Monday morning so sick I could hardly lift
my,..
Her: "It was a Wednesday. I can-
celled my hair appointment to stay
home and take care of you."
Him: "Hey, remember that New Year's
eve party at the Hanson's when we played
that silly game with the oranges?"
Her: "It was spring. I was wear-
ing my navy and white polka dot dress
and patent leather sandals."
Him: "I had a dream about Uncle
George last night. Do you realize it'll be
eight years this autumn since he and Aunt
Sophie paid us that surprise visit?"
Her: "it was July. I was in the
middle of putting up peaches;"
Him: "On this college health form, they
want to know when Davy had chicken pox.
How can they expect anyone to remember
a thing like that ?"
Her: "Why, it's simple, dear. It
would have been 1955 because Miss
Thompsonshe was his second grade
teachersent him the sweetest get-
well card, and it was February because
I remember that he opened his Valen-
tines in bed. And let's see now, I
had to call Elise to tell her that I
couldn't make it to bridge club be-
cause Davy was sick so it must have
been the second Thursday of the
month."
Him: "Honey, what year were you
born? I have to fill in your birth date on
this insurance thing they sent me."
Her: "Oh dear, you know how
awful I am about dates! I just can't
seem to remember that sort of thing
butuhwell, let's see now..."
Page 4 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, October 26, 1967
General John J. O'Connell's plan
to call a constitutional convention
with an initiative. It was en-
dorsed because this is the most
expedient means of getting con-
stitutional reform--IF it can be
done.
This is a pretty big "IF," how-
ever, as many attorneys disagree
with O'Connell on this point and
are convinced it can't be done
within the framework of the pres-
ent constitution. The committee
has recommended that the le-
gality of this move be tested as
soon as possible.
As Kramer is the one official
who, can get it into court at an
early date, it is a safe bet that
it will be taken to court next
January, when the initiative is
presented for a ballot title. All
Kramer has to do is refuse to
accept it, and it will be in the
hands of the court.
This would bring a test before
the signature campaign could be
launched. As time is the essence,
an early court hearing, and an
early decision, could be ex-
pected.
O'Connell is now perfecting an
organization of young people for
the signature campaign. The sig-
nature campaign would end in
July, just about the time cam-
paigns for state offices get under-
way. Conceivably, much of this
organization, by then well-trained
and with contacts throughout the
state, would be available for
O'Connell's campaign for the
Democratic nomination for Gov-
ernor.
If the initiative idea is thrown
out by the courts before the sig-
nature campaign can be
launched, however, it will be
hard to hold the organization to-
gether until July. Incidentally,
while O'Connell is a Democrat,
Kramer, apparently the only
state official who could get the
initiative issue into court as early
as next January, is a Republican•
GATEWAY IS KEY
It was expected, also, that the
committee would recommend a
"gateway" amendment to the
constitution. A "g a t e w a y"
amendment would permit amend-
men of an entire article of the
constitution in a single resolution.
If it were possible to amend an
entire article like. say, the article
on taxation, much constitutional
reform could be accomplished
without a constitutional conven-
tion. A proposed constitutional
amendment which paved the way
for an income tax and also put
a ceiling on the sales tax, ex-
empted food and drugs and low-
ered the assessment base for tax-
ing property, all in a single pack-
age, might have a better chance
of winning approval than an in-
come tax amendment alone.
The latter, when submitted
alone, has been rejected by the
voters on four sepaarate occas-
ions, each time by a substantial
margin.
ROUGH ROAD AHEAD
The gateway amendment, as
well as constitutional convention
calls, have been tried without
success in both 1965 and 1967
sessions of the Legislature. There
is nothing to indicate that they
will fare any better in 1969, un-
less the full-time salaried com-
mission recommended by the
Kramer committee comes up
with something palateable to the
law-makers.
It is felt in some quarters that
if a new constitution is proposed
m advance, the legislature might
be more willing to call a con-
vention. In that way they
wouldn't be "buying a pig in a
poke." In the past, many law-
makers have been wary because
they haven't had any way of
knowing what mght come up in
a constitutional convention. They
still won't know, but a "model"
constitution prepared by a com-
mission will give them some
idea of what to expect.
It is unlikely, however, that
any proposed new constitution
can avoid shooting down num-
erous "sacred cows," so there
still will be plenty of organized
opposition to constitut;nal re-
form.
In a way, constitutional reform
and tax reform are synonomous.
Nearly all avenues of taxation
now available within the frame-
work of the present constitution
are now being used. Virtually all
tax reform programs are built
around some sort of an income
tax. Any income tax in excess
of a 2 per cent flat rate requires
constitutional revision of some
sort.
If tax reform could be worked
out through the constitutional
amendment route, it is possible
that the pressure for constitution-
al reform would ease consider-
ably. That is why so much em-
phasis is being put on the so-
called "gateway" amendment.
Letter box:
Digest article scored
Editor, The Journal:
The Reader's Digest published
an article by Mr. Charles Steven-
son in its October issue entitled
"How Secure Is Your Social Se-
curity?" The article contains a
number of errors and half-truths
clearly intended to mislead the
reader.
The following are some factual
rebuttals to the main allegations
in the article:
Allegation: Mr. Stevenson says
the "social security insurance is
in trouble" and questions the fi-
nancial soundness of the system.
Fact: The social security system
has been examined a number of
times by groups of independent,
non - governmental representa-
tives of business, insurance, la-
bor and the public and each time
has been found fiscally sound.
For example, in 1957, during the
Eisenhower Administration, an
Advisory Council on Social Se-
curity Financing was appointed.
The Council consisted of a Presi-
dent of a Federal Reserve Bank,
two actuaries (one from a pri-
vate insurance company and one
from a university) and represen-
tatives of business, labor and
professional groups. The Council
reported as follows:
"The Council finds that the
present method of financing the
old-age, survivors, and disability
insurance program is sould,
practical, and appropriate for
this program. It is our judgment,
based on the best available cost
estimates, that the contribution
schedule enacted into law in the
last session of Congress makes
adequate provision for financing
the program on a sound actuarial
basis•" The most recent Advisory
Council on Social Security, made
up of equally outstanding ex-
perts also stated that the social
security program was soundly
financed and that its income was
sufficient to meet its obligations
into the long-range future.
Allegation: The Social Security
System has an unfunded obliga-
tion of $350 billion.
Fact: This claim is meaningless
and irrelevant. No life insurance
expert nor social security expert,
nor business or labor organiza-
tion, advisory council or Con-
gressional committee has ever
recommended such finding. The
most recent Advisory Council on
Social Security stated in its 1965
report:
A compulsory social insurance
program is correctly considered
soundly financed if, on the basis
of actuarial estimates, current as-
sets plus future income are ex-
pected to be sufficient to cover
all the obligations of the pro-
gram; the present system meets
this test.
The claim sometimes made
that the system is financially
unsound, with an unfunded lia-
bility of some $300 billion, grows
out of a false analogy with pri-
vate insurance, which because of
its voluntary character cannot
count on income from new en-
trants to meet a part of future
obligations for the present
covered group."
Darrell Sparks
Shelton
0 0 0
]
The Flapdoodler:
Never trust a turtle00
when he s In his shel00
By STEVE ERICKSON just @fl
It wasn't really a big-game hunt. We were
after turtles. Box turtles, outSet. v
Of course, daddy was duped from the uia aadPe
thought the family was going to drive to Olym.
a dime ']ul
one turtle for about 30 cents, plus maybe t
birdseed or whatever you feed turtles. |th
The rest of the family knew darn well We[
were oing to get a turtle for each of the threej
children at a cost of 79 cents a head, Pu:::o [!
cent "turtle frolic" aquarium that must i-
a nickel to manufacture, and three ,'turtle health
kits" including food, shell hardener and s°me'ia]
thing that looked like a salt lick. a ud
Being a good sport of sorts, and also being "
tion where he couldn't say no, daddy shelled out sl
grocery money, some house .payment money, ad:::
some reserve poker change for the little reptiles,'
body was happy. Almost everybody, d
The turtles were mauled all the way home, aui;
was given a precious little name• One had red spots
side of its head: Mister Red-Ears. Another had
spots: Mister Yellow-Ears. The third climbed .e
,, • " I S
the aquarium like a human fly: Stmkytoes, •
and for once I prevailed. '
We had been home nearly an hour when it lla
Five-year-old Shayla burst into the room amidst,
tears. : e
"My turtle's dead," she wailed.
"Mister Yellow-Ears?" I asked. :;,/;
A dirty look. Then, "No. Stickytoe"
00,o.t::tm
"Oh," I said• "Let's take a look." We sticke
"turtle frolic," and sure enough, there lay c,(.
motionless, looking dead as pickled pigs' feet. I fs
couldn't even see Stickeytoes. Just his shell. _ shell. "
I gingerly picked him up and rattled te ,^ It
sound, not even a groan. I peeked into a leg 1o, r
dark in there, k es th
id utting Stic yt0
"Let me research this," I sa , p age '
and getting a dictionary. I found the turtle P
scanned it. ,_
"Liste ...... at the fine Pr!" _
n, = sam, Peermg witi"
"'The box turtle can withdraw entirel.Y..ts 0 .
its shell and close the shell by hinged jo:, ,
the bottom.' He's just sleeping, Shayla. ]
"No," she said. "He's dead." • '-t. I 'i"
"Hmmm," I mused, "I suppose you're reP?
case, listen to this. 'The flesh of certain of t "
may be cooked and served for food.' " 'i: !;'1 1 !
"Waahh," she wailed, and left'the r o°:°r s t
Pretty soon she was back, dry-eyed. :
"Is Stickytoes really dead, daddy?" , it
"Afraid so," I said. "But I'll tell yoU_:;ec,
Let's give him a real fancy funeral, We o' lsY l
orate a match box with crepe paper, s',' e i
pretty music, and we'll dig a nice little gr=-
the garden and put flowers on it."
That seemed to help. "Okay," she said. ,,poor
toes." half-hoe:
We made the funeral preparations in a. co L
soremnly strode to the "turtle frolic" to get tle.. ,. s !
es had emerged, almVO th
Surprise. Stickyto *. _. at i
hungry. He glared at us. He glare=
casket, cottld "
"Look," I said, lifting Shayla up so,. she .... e * -bav
friend. "Stickytoes is alive. We won t n-
funeral after all." |
She stared. "No... funeral ?"
"That's right." , beautif 1
She looked at Stiekytoes, then at thestickyOeS
box, at the daisies we had picked, then at
Finally she looked back at me. ,,Let's kill:
"Daddy," she said, her voice soft.
him."
"An' I'll bet you were summa cum lousy in
driver training."