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Page B-2 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, Nov. 3, 2016
ON THE ROAD
same equals secure, new means u
If motel soap gets any
smaller, they will
have to reclassify it
as a moist towelette.
Or "cleansing commu-
nion wafer," since that's
about the size of it.
Sure, fork out $149
for one night's stay, if
you need a basket of
faux luxury
soaps and sham-
poos next to your
twin sinks and
blow dryer in its
holster.
For $149, you
get a Barbie-
sized bottle of
questionable
hand lotion.
You get your
tiny fridge,
microwave, the $5-per-
water-bottle courtesy
bar, plus the customary
comfort of a triangular
fold on the end of your
toilet roll - if you need
secure, dependable lodg-
ing, that's the price you
pay at your bigger hotel
chains.
Make your own waffle
in the morning.
Enjoy your own copy
of USA Today.
Eat up. Pay up.
Out the door. Down
the road.
The room is remade
as if you've never been
there.
By MARK
WOYTOWICH
MOTEL
MONOCULTURE
Welcome to interstate
travel in America.
Whether on I-5, 1-70,
or 1-80, traveler services
at nearly all your exits
are the same.
Clarion. Hilton. Holi-
day Inn. Motel monocul-
ture dominates
the four corners
at the end of
every exit ramp,
right beside your
similar, familiar
choices in din-
ing: McDonald's,
Wendy's, Burger
King.
In addition
to the sleep-in-
ducing rumble of
big trucks rolling by, the
searchlight logos of the
fast food chains, beam-
ing from hundred-foot
poles, Create a harsh,
constant moonlight pok-
ing through your win-
dow shades.
Pity the insomniac.
You can't tell dawn
from artificial glare.
DRIVEN
So drive all night, as
I did through Illinois,
Indiana and Ohio.
Throughout a long,
long night in Ohio, I
drove through band after
band of thunderstorms,
my wiper blades giving
me half-second glimpses
of truck tail lights before
my windshield was del-
uged on the downstroke
again.
From Cleveland to
Columbus, cranking a
rock 'n' roll station loud,
and keeping a death grip
on my wheel, I steered
through 100 miles of
"Big Rig Dodge 'era" as
my tiny Toyota squeezed
in and out of wet jet
streams doing 80 miles
an hour.
I'd rather be an as-
tronaut in a meteorite
shower. They're pretty
much the same.
ORANGE CONES: AN
INVESTMENT
Sure, if you want to
make time, then the in-
torstatos are for you. In
Texas, drive 90 miles an
hour.
Nobody's there to
care.
I had the bright idea
to drive Interstate 40
all night through Okla-
homa.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Nights are when Mer-
cury Light Theatre takes
over the interstates,
featuring Bill Dozer and
Steamy Roller in the
lead roles, supported by
hundreds of hardhat ex-
ALLYN ] Case Inlet
3 2:21am .0.6 4 .2:59am .0.4 5 3:41am
Thu9:10am 14.2 Fri9:59am 14.2 Sat10:47am
3:lOpm 7.0 3:59pm 7.3 4:55pm
7:55pm 11.9 8:34pm 11.4 9:20pm
-0.16 3:28am 0.5
14.1Sun 10:39am 13.9
7.4 5:03pm 7.2
10.79:22pm 10.1
7 4:21am 1.1 8 S:20am 1.8 9 12:06am
Mon 11:33am 13.9 Tue 12:25pm 14.0 Wed6:2Sam
6:15pm 6.6 7:17pm 5.6 1:12pm
10:41pm 9.7 8:05pm
9.8 10 1:26am 10.4
2.4 Thu7:29am 3.0
14.3 1:54pm 14.6
4.3 8:47pm 2.8
SHELTON I Oakland Bay
3 3:27am .0.5 4 4:05am -0.4 5 4:47am 0.06 4:34am 0.4
Thu9:54am 14.2 Fri10:37am 14.2 Sat11:25am 14.1 Sun11:17am 13.9
4:16pm 6.0 5:05pro 6.3 6:01pro 6.3 6:09pro 6.2
8:33pm 11.9 9:12pm 11.4 9:58pm 10.7 10:00pm 10.1
7 5:27am 1.0 8 6:20am 1.59 12:44am 9.8 10 2:04am 10.4
Mon 12:11am 13.9 Tuel:03pm 14.0 Wed7:31am 2.1 Thu8:35am 2.6
7:21pm 5.7 8:23pm 4.8 l:50pm 14.3 2:32pm 14.6
11:19pm 9.7 9:11pm 3.7 9:53pm 2.4
UNION I Hood Canal
3 1:20am 0.3 4 1:50am 0.55 2:35am 0.96 2:18am 1.4
Thu8:38am 11.9 Fri9:26am 11.1 Sat10:16am 11.6 Sun lO:08am 11.6
2:14pm 7.0 3:09pm 7.3 4:lOpm 7.4 4:16pm 7.t
6:27pm 9.9 6:57pm 9.4 7:34pm 8.8 7:26pm 8.2
7 3:10am 1.9 8 4:11am 2.59 5:18am 3.0 10 12:42am8.2
Mon 10:59arn 11.6 Xue11:46am 11.7 Wed 12:28pm 11.9 Thu6:23am 3.4
5:19pm 6.5 6:13pm 5.5 6:59pm 4.2 l:06prn 12.0
8:41pm 7.7 10:54prn 7.5 7:41pm 2.7
THE SUN and THE MOON
3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Sunrise 7:00am7:01am7:03am7:04am7:06am 7:07am7:08am7:lOam
Sunset 4:52pm4:50pm4:49pm4:48pm4:46pm 4:45pm4:44pm4:42pm
Moonrise lO:20am 11:15am 12:01pm 12:42pm 1:19pm 1:53pm2:25pm2:57pm
Moonset 7:53pm8:42pm9:37pm10:36pm 11:40pm 12:48am 1:59am
First quarter November 7
SHELTON-MASON COUNTY
Tidal Information courtesy NOAA I Astronomical Data courtesy U.S. Naval 0bservatqry'
" Journal photo by Mark Woytowich
No, these are not the world's largest baked potatoes. This is camping at
City of Rocks State Park, in New Mexico. Dozens of camp sites allow you
to snug up against giant rocks, where kids can stay in their very own caves.
tras and millions of or- swer to interstates is to
ange cones. The name of simply get off.
long-rtmning perfor- I wouldn't have
mance is up in lights, on driven a single mile of
the blinking marquee: this two-month sojourn
"Construction. Expect if I didn't have it in my
Delays." mind to see America on
Not as sexy as "Ham- her back roads.
ilton," but you will be Yeah, rural America
kept riveted - literally - is poor and ragged in
in your seat. spots, but she opens up
Okay, enough nega- to you with a heart full
tivity. Here are two of trust, the way a total
headlines from a pair stranger did to me on
of billboards I thought the banks of the Ohio
were especially funny. River.
From Idaho: What In Bellevue, Iowa,
Were You Inking? Tattoo overlooking the Mis-
Removal. sissippi River, a young
From Mon- woman spots me on the
tana: Streaking Prohib- sidewalk and unlocks
ited. Custom Windows the door of a microbrew-
Installed. ery that is not yet open
for business.
INTERSTATE EXIT As she pours me
STRATEGY free, unsolicited tastes,
Perhaps the best an- she invites me to their
AUTOMOTIVE
2033 Olympic Highway North • Shdton • 426-1467
grand opening the fol-
lowing night. The result
is a three-day stay and a
microcosm tour of Iowa
working life and entre-
preneurism.
In Fayetteville, Ar-
kansas, a University
of Arkansas professor
invites me over to enjoy
his breakfast specialty
- fresh baked biscuits -
which he claims are the
best in the world.
Interesting timing,
the day after I had
filled a journal entry on
the best biscuits I had
eaten so far across the
states.
Still the best biscuits:
Chester, West Virginia.
At Faywood Hot
Springs, New Mexico,
I soak with a man who
says he is very im-
pressed that I am sleep-
ing outside, with noth-
ing but my sleeping bag,
under the stars.
The following night
I overhear him tolling
another couple how he's.
killed four rattlesnakes
since arriving at the
springs.
I crawled under
my bag carefully that
night, but I still slept
like an angel. It was
a full moon. I turned
on my side, one ear to
the wind rustling the
chaparral, the other ear
pressed to the heart of
America.
Did we miss
We strive to stay on top of all
the sports that are important
to our readers so if you
know of a Mason C~)unty
resident who is excelling
in their sporting life,
please let us know:
360-426-4412
• Mark Woytowich is
a writer, photographer
and video producer
who lives in Potlatch.
He can be reached
at Woytowichdesign.com.
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