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00ournal of Opinion:
Talking turkey
"Okay, folks, will you gather around the table? Ooh,
Momma, nice nut cups made to look like Pilgrim hats.
And mmm, are those my yams underneath the toasted
marshmallows? You all know what we do each year. Before
Momma brings in the Butterball, we take turns telling
each other what we're thankful for. Jeremy, that means
you, too. Bob, why don't we start with you?"
"I gave Meta Hogan $50 to help her win the Olympia mayor's
race. I'm thankful she spent it on cigarettes and bath salts."
"Phooey. I could're donated a couple cartons of weeds
if I'd known she needed them. I wonder if she'd smoke
Marlboros. Jimbo, your thankful thoughts, please."
"In an age when the government is trying to rip us off to
build a new school, fix the streets or expand the hospital, when
we're completely tapped out, I'm thankful there's going to be an
economical getaway fbr families at that new Great Wolf Lodge
with the water park down there at Grand Mound. The rooms will
start at only $319 a night."
"You couldn't get a better price than that if you were
camping! Jeremy, why don't you join us? Millicent, what's
the whipped cream on your pumpkin pie?"
"I appreciate the way FEMA keeps improving its public
relations. I don't understand all the fuss about the fake news
conference last month."
"You're right. You do have to give them a lot of Brownie
points. Jenna-Fir, what's to be thankful for up there in
your neck of the woods in Seattle?"
"I'm split. I don't know whether I'm more thankful that we voted
down transit again or that I'll be able to spend some quality time
with myself three hours a day driving into work from Auburn."
"If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times:
The solution isn't transit, it's more highways and oil
consumption. Jeremy, pal, do I have to come over there
and grab you by that ring in your nose?"
"He's just listening to his iPod, Uncle Roger."
"An eye prod? Is that legal under the Geneva
Conventions?"
"Dude! Like, freaking chill, okay? You're torturing me. I'm
listening to Modest Mouse. It's like, music, man."
"Right here in River City? Does Motor Mouth have a
hundred and ten Corn Nuts in his hand?"
"Earth to Uncle Roger. We're hungry. I haven't had any
mincemeat pie in 365 days. Let's get on with this thanking crap
so we can eat."
"Sorry, Sam. Why don't we continue with you then?"
"I'm glad we are finally talking about bombing Iran. That
Mideast is such a mess, and bombing those Fruit Loops would
solve all of our problems."
"It certainly worked in Iraq. Toni?"
"I'm gratified that the Valpak nailing came last week giving
me a chance to win a free trip to Ellen DeGeneres' 50th birthday
party. Ellen: She's the best part of your day."
"Benny, what do you have to say?"
"Uncle Roger, I'm thankful tbr human growth hormone and to
be 17 years old, 6'4" and 240 pounds so I can punch your lights
out if you call me Squirt one more time."
"Do you prefer Benjamin or Mr. Wilson, sir? MaeGan,
my beautiful niece, let's go on to you."
"I'm way thankful for my new boyfriend I met on MySpace."
"You're seven years old!"
"Leave her alone, Roger. Let her play. It's harmless fun."
"Don't break his heart, then, Sweetie. Simon?"
"With all of the kook judges in this country, I'm thankful for
one with a brain - the administrative law judge who sued the dry
cleaner for $54 million for losing his pants."
"I guess he figured the trousers had deep pockets.
Darlene?"
"I'm so thankful [ finally know who to support in the presidential
election now that Pat Robertson has endorsed Ruby Giuliani.
Ruby's my girl."
"Darlene, Honey, just curious, have you followed the
presidential race very closely?"
"Not really. I was just listening to Pat to see whether he thought
the United States should assassinate the British prime minister
when he mentioned Ruby."
"Well, I guess' that's about everybody. Oh, Momma. I
almost forgot you. Before you present that golden bird,
what are you thankful for?"
"The jawbusters at Wal-Mart tomorrow morning."
"Don't you mean doorbusters?"
"You can call them anything you want. I call them jawbusters
since I bought a set of brass knuckles last year to defend
myself."
-CG
Iuii
,..:,,on-ournal
eounty usps 492-s00
POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Shelton-Mason
County Journal, RO. Box 430, Shelton, WA 98584.
Published weekly by Shelton Publishing Inc. at 227 West Cota Street, Shelton, Washington
Mailing address: P.O. Box 430, Shelton, WA 98584
Telephone (360) 426-4412 * www.masoncounty.com
Periodicals postage paid at Shelton, Washington
Member of Washington Newspaper Publishers' Association
SUBSCRIPTION RATES: $31.00 per year in-county address,
$45.00 per year in state of Washington $55.00 per year out of state
Charles Gay, editor and publisher. Newsroom: Sean Hanlon, managing editor; Steve Patch,
sports editor; Jeff Green, general assignment, city government, schools, Port of Shelton; Rebecca
Wells, society editor, county government; Mary Duncan, police, courts. Advertising: Stephen
Gay, advertising manager; Dave Pierik and Harvey Morris, ad sales. Front office: Julie Orme,
business manager; Kathy L.ester, circulation; Donna Kinnaird, bookkeeper; Cricket Carter, mailroom
supervisor. Composing room: Diane Riordan, supervisor; Margot Brand, Jan Kallinen, pagination;
Frank Isaac, pagination, photo technician; Koleen Wood, typesetter, computer system manager;
William Adams, ad builder, computer system manager; Clinton Kendall, proofreader. Pressroom: Nick
Carr, pressman; Jon Hughes, pressman's assistant.
iiiiiiIiifitifilliii
Page 4 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, November 22, 2007
:.¢.oilh
l00eaders"
00ournal:
i '
Salmon fishing seems he
Editor, The Journal: fish are right at the finish line of a hook-caught King Salmon,'I,llcrl
There sure are a lot of salmon three- to five-year odyssey, having to wonder if they offer spot;tea1-1s c
nets working Hood Canal right survived the gauntlet of leaving soup to go with that. d
now. Between the gill nets strung
from the shore and the big fleet of
purse seiners in the middle, I won-
der if anyone is checking to see
that enough mature fish get up
the rivers.
A few days ago I counted 14 big
purse seiners within sight of the
the river as fingerlings and all the
perils of the open ocean, and it just
doesn't seem quite right.
I know the fishermen are just
trying to make a living, and I do
like a good bite of salmon as much
as the next guy, but holy smokes!
Where else but in America can
I do know one thing for.the
and this is from the hard-eed
lesson of experience: Whe]. '
salmon slip into decline l/h
there will be another public 0u 0t
against the blankety-blar$. 18
gers, and then we will be sad 01
with even more ridiculously t gq
oyster house at the mouth of the you find an endangered species buffers on the streamsides.
HammaHammaRiver, some work- on the menu? When I see a fancy Dave Robbins, tree f@ '
ing right off the tide flats. These restaurant advertising a "wild, Lilli -
Protest fundamentalism's zisdlt,
tary threat to us?
Why do we not continue to truly
work for peace in the Middle East?
How did Jewish and Christian Zi-
onists seize control of this country
seeking war without end to fulfill
their apocalyptic visions of either
a first Messiah or the second com-
ing of Christ?
The answers to these questions
lie in the rise of religious fundamen-
talism in all branches of the Abra-
hamaic religions, a symbiotic move-
ment that, if not protested against
and not stopped, will continue to
cause death and destruction in this
Editor, The Journak
The anti-war protestors at the
Port of Olympia are aiming at the
wrong people. Their quarrel is not
with the truckers, troops and port
workers. They need to look deeper
to find the root causes of our pres-
ent difficulties in the world.
Who put into power our evan-
gelical, born-again President and
his neoconservative brain trust?
Who voted for the Iraq War when
it was obvious even to people as
ignorant as I that Iraq was not in-
volved in the attack on New York
and did not harbor a credible mill-
Editor, The Journal:
The immigration situation is a
serious problem for both Mexico
and the U.S. However, the focus is
on the wrong side of the border.
The root causes of poverty and
a lack of any real effort on the part
of Mexico to put her people to work
are critical. They have no safety
net for their people. No unemploy-
ment benefits, no Social Security
or farm subsidy benefits. It's no
wonder that Mexico's government
only helps by showing them a map
of the border and the best places
to cross.
Instead of building walls to keep
people out, we should be working
with Mexico to keep their people
in. How can anybody disagree
with that?
A
world. Their prophecies will I,..,
fulfilled, but not by God. lh
Only by protesting and -"ed
ping fundamentalism, .aridc
malignant intrusion into the..lfr o
politic in this country and i,st
world, will the madness 0,1&,o^.l--"
Middle East wars, includi:u,
coming attack on Iran, be l,e
or stopped. Anti-war prOe
would do better to picket _...
makers who supported tbe
and all of their t an(iament 1..
gious allies. Martin I'I.,
Focus on wrong side of borde00.
At $100 a barrel, Mexico
They need an FDR-type public
works program to build Mexico's
roads, new schools, city sewer in-
frastructure and projects to pro-
vide clean drinking water. We
could start with a minimum wage
of $5 an hour. This is a Third World
country that needs a rebuilding!
We need to get tough with Mex-
ico as to their social policy of get-
ting rid of their poor by (literally)
shipping them north to the U.S. In-
stead of using our National Guard
units to keep people out, we should
perhaps threaten economic sanc-
tions. Since undocumented people
send money to their families in
Mexico at the rate of $14 billion a
year, why not halt the outpouring
of money at the border? Oh yes!
Try that if kinder words fail.
huge windfall oil revenueS,
the shared cost by our two €
tries of a sew;ra]-billiom$
Marshall Plan is a cheap p
pay to solve the problem. I'm
and you all know we need to s
Mexico's problem as a part ofl
ing their people at home. It
take bold diplomacy, includir
forcement of employer peS
for hiring these people and cS
lation of the North America
Trade Agreement and C
America Free Trade Agrees
which of course won't be fort
n l
ing in this administratio .
you think Mexicans would P!
to live in the home country?
Greg
00ournal of Opinion:
Talking turkey
"Okay, folks, will you gather around the table? Ooh,
Momma, nice nut cups made to look like Pilgrim hats.
And mmm, are those my yams underneath the toasted
marshmallows? You all know what we do each year. Before
Momma brings in the Butterball, we take turns telling
each other what we're thankful for. Jeremy, that means
you, too. Bob, why don't we start with you?"
"I gave Meta Hogan $50 to help her win the Olympia mayor's
race. I'm thankful she spent it on cigarettes and bath salts."
"Phooey. I could're donated a couple cartons of weeds
if I'd known she needed them. I wonder if she'd smoke
Marlboros. Jimbo, your thankful thoughts, please."
"In an age when the government is trying to rip us off to
build a new school, fix the streets or expand the hospital, when
we're completely tapped out, I'm thankful there's going to be an
economical getaway fbr families at that new Great Wolf Lodge
with the water park down there at Grand Mound. The rooms will
start at only $319 a night."
"You couldn't get a better price than that if you were
camping! Jeremy, why don't you join us? Millicent, what's
the whipped cream on your pumpkin pie?"
"I appreciate the way FEMA keeps improving its public
relations. I don't understand all the fuss about the fake news
conference last month."
"You're right. You do have to give them a lot of Brownie
points. Jenna-Fir, what's to be thankful for up there in
your neck of the woods in Seattle?"
"I'm split. I don't know whether I'm more thankful that we voted
down transit again or that I'll be able to spend some quality time
with myself three hours a day driving into work from Auburn."
"If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times:
The solution isn't transit, it's more highways and oil
consumption. Jeremy, pal, do I have to come over there
and grab you by that ring in your nose?"
"He's just listening to his iPod, Uncle Roger."
"An eye prod? Is that legal under the Geneva
Conventions?"
"Dude! Like, freaking chill, okay? You're torturing me. I'm
listening to Modest Mouse. It's like, music, man."
"Right here in River City? Does Motor Mouth have a
hundred and ten Corn Nuts in his hand?"
"Earth to Uncle Roger. We're hungry. I haven't had any
mincemeat pie in 365 days. Let's get on with this thanking crap
so we can eat."
"Sorry, Sam. Why don't we continue with you then?"
"I'm glad we are finally talking about bombing Iran. That
Mideast is such a mess, and bombing those Fruit Loops would
solve all of our problems."
"It certainly worked in Iraq. Toni?"
"I'm gratified that the Valpak nailing came last week giving
me a chance to win a free trip to Ellen DeGeneres' 50th birthday
party. Ellen: She's the best part of your day."
"Benny, what do you have to say?"
"Uncle Roger, I'm thankful tbr human growth hormone and to
be 17 years old, 6'4" and 240 pounds so I can punch your lights
out if you call me Squirt one more time."
"Do you prefer Benjamin or Mr. Wilson, sir? MaeGan,
my beautiful niece, let's go on to you."
"I'm way thankful for my new boyfriend I met on MySpace."
"You're seven years old!"
"Leave her alone, Roger. Let her play. It's harmless fun."
"Don't break his heart, then, Sweetie. Simon?"
"With all of the kook judges in this country, I'm thankful for
one with a brain - the administrative law judge who sued the dry
cleaner for $54 million for losing his pants."
"I guess he figured the trousers had deep pockets.
Darlene?"
"I'm so thankful [ finally know who to support in the presidential
election now that Pat Robertson has endorsed Ruby Giuliani.
Ruby's my girl."
"Darlene, Honey, just curious, have you followed the
presidential race very closely?"
"Not really. I was just listening to Pat to see whether he thought
the United States should assassinate the British prime minister
when he mentioned Ruby."
"Well, I guess' that's about everybody. Oh, Momma. I
almost forgot you. Before you present that golden bird,
what are you thankful for?"
"The jawbusters at Wal-Mart tomorrow morning."
"Don't you mean doorbusters?"
"You can call them anything you want. I call them jawbusters
since I bought a set of brass knuckles last year to defend
myself."
-CG
Iuii
,..:,,on-ournal
eounty usps 492-s00
POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Shelton-Mason
County Journal, RO. Box 430, Shelton, WA 98584.
Published weekly by Shelton Publishing Inc. at 227 West Cota Street, Shelton, Washington
Mailing address: P.O. Box 430, Shelton, WA 98584
Telephone (360) 426-4412 * www.masoncounty.com
Periodicals postage paid at Shelton, Washington
Member of Washington Newspaper Publishers' Association
SUBSCRIPTION RATES: $31.00 per year in-county address,
$45.00 per year in state of Washington $55.00 per year out of state
Charles Gay, editor and publisher. Newsroom: Sean Hanlon, managing editor; Steve Patch,
sports editor; Jeff Green, general assignment, city government, schools, Port of Shelton; Rebecca
Wells, society editor, county government; Mary Duncan, police, courts. Advertising: Stephen
Gay, advertising manager; Dave Pierik and Harvey Morris, ad sales. Front office: Julie Orme,
business manager; Kathy L.ester, circulation; Donna Kinnaird, bookkeeper; Cricket Carter, mailroom
supervisor. Composing room: Diane Riordan, supervisor; Margot Brand, Jan Kallinen, pagination;
Frank Isaac, pagination, photo technician; Koleen Wood, typesetter, computer system manager;
William Adams, ad builder, computer system manager; Clinton Kendall, proofreader. Pressroom: Nick
Carr, pressman; Jon Hughes, pressman's assistant.
iiiiiiIiifitifilliii
Page 4 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, November 22, 2007
:.¢.oilh
l00eaders"
00ournal:
i '
Salmon fishing seems he
Editor, The Journal: fish are right at the finish line of a hook-caught King Salmon,'I,llcrl
There sure are a lot of salmon three- to five-year odyssey, having to wonder if they offer spot;tea1-1s c
nets working Hood Canal right survived the gauntlet of leaving soup to go with that. d
now. Between the gill nets strung
from the shore and the big fleet of
purse seiners in the middle, I won-
der if anyone is checking to see
that enough mature fish get up
the rivers.
A few days ago I counted 14 big
purse seiners within sight of the
the river as fingerlings and all the
perils of the open ocean, and it just
doesn't seem quite right.
I know the fishermen are just
trying to make a living, and I do
like a good bite of salmon as much
as the next guy, but holy smokes!
Where else but in America can
I do know one thing for.the
and this is from the hard-eed
lesson of experience: Whe]. '
salmon slip into decline l/h
there will be another public 0u 0t
against the blankety-blar$. 18
gers, and then we will be sad 01
with even more ridiculously t gq
oyster house at the mouth of the you find an endangered species buffers on the streamsides.
HammaHammaRiver, some work- on the menu? When I see a fancy Dave Robbins, tree f@ '
ing right off the tide flats. These restaurant advertising a "wild, Lilli -
Protest fundamentalism's zisdlt,
tary threat to us?
Why do we not continue to truly
work for peace in the Middle East?
How did Jewish and Christian Zi-
onists seize control of this country
seeking war without end to fulfill
their apocalyptic visions of either
a first Messiah or the second com-
ing of Christ?
The answers to these questions
lie in the rise of religious fundamen-
talism in all branches of the Abra-
hamaic religions, a symbiotic move-
ment that, if not protested against
and not stopped, will continue to
cause death and destruction in this
Editor, The Journak
The anti-war protestors at the
Port of Olympia are aiming at the
wrong people. Their quarrel is not
with the truckers, troops and port
workers. They need to look deeper
to find the root causes of our pres-
ent difficulties in the world.
Who put into power our evan-
gelical, born-again President and
his neoconservative brain trust?
Who voted for the Iraq War when
it was obvious even to people as
ignorant as I that Iraq was not in-
volved in the attack on New York
and did not harbor a credible mill-
Editor, The Journal:
The immigration situation is a
serious problem for both Mexico
and the U.S. However, the focus is
on the wrong side of the border.
The root causes of poverty and
a lack of any real effort on the part
of Mexico to put her people to work
are critical. They have no safety
net for their people. No unemploy-
ment benefits, no Social Security
or farm subsidy benefits. It's no
wonder that Mexico's government
only helps by showing them a map
of the border and the best places
to cross.
Instead of building walls to keep
people out, we should be working
with Mexico to keep their people
in. How can anybody disagree
with that?
A
world. Their prophecies will I,..,
fulfilled, but not by God. lh
Only by protesting and -"ed
ping fundamentalism, .aridc
malignant intrusion into the..lfr o
politic in this country and i,st
world, will the madness 0,1&,o^.l--"
Middle East wars, includi:u,
coming attack on Iran, be l,e
or stopped. Anti-war prOe
would do better to picket _...
makers who supported tbe
and all of their t an(iament 1..
gious allies. Martin I'I.,
Focus on wrong side of borde00.
At $100 a barrel, Mexico
They need an FDR-type public
works program to build Mexico's
roads, new schools, city sewer in-
frastructure and projects to pro-
vide clean drinking water. We
could start with a minimum wage
of $5 an hour. This is a Third World
country that needs a rebuilding!
We need to get tough with Mex-
ico as to their social policy of get-
ting rid of their poor by (literally)
shipping them north to the U.S. In-
stead of using our National Guard
units to keep people out, we should
perhaps threaten economic sanc-
tions. Since undocumented people
send money to their families in
Mexico at the rate of $14 billion a
year, why not halt the outpouring
of money at the border? Oh yes!
Try that if kinder words fail.
huge windfall oil revenueS,
the shared cost by our two €
tries of a sew;ra]-billiom$
Marshall Plan is a cheap p
pay to solve the problem. I'm
and you all know we need to s
Mexico's problem as a part ofl
ing their people at home. It
take bold diplomacy, includir
forcement of employer peS
for hiring these people and cS
lation of the North America
Trade Agreement and C
America Free Trade Agrees
which of course won't be fort
n l
ing in this administratio .
you think Mexicans would P!
to live in the home country?
Greg