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Page A-4 Shelton-Mason County Journal — Thursday, Nov. 26, 2020
TIMES
Dating in the age of plague
friend of mine let’s give
him the nom de guerre
f Ivan - resumed the
pursuit of finding a potential
love mate about six months ago,
almost tWo years after splitting
with his wife, a woman he
met in the analog realm.
Like many daters, Ivan
has gone digital. I see
Ivan at least once a week
and he sometimes gives
updates about his treks
into the swipe-left, swipe-
right, skip-ahead, nope,
nope, nope, yes, should I?
world of online dating.
Ivan has a view into a
world I know little about.
I wasn’t a dater, I was certainly
no player, and I found a woman
who also was not much of a dater.
On top of that triple-bank shot,
Mrs. Ericson and I found each
other in the workplace, a treach-
erous place for love to take root.
It’s seems old-timey when we tell
people how we met.
But I can see online dating’s
benefits. A couple nieces of ours
have found mates that way, and
those two nephews-in—law are
real keepers, as my father used
to say.
Last Sunday night, Ivan told
me he had spent two hours on a
video chitchat that afternoon with
a prospect who lives in Portland.
He said she referred to herself
as a “singer/songwriter” and that
she works as a marketing direc-
tor for a nonprofit organization.
Ivan found a singer/songwriter
working for a nonprofit group in
Portland. What are the chances
of that?
I had several questions about
this two-hour-long encounter,
including whether either of them
had to excuse themselves for a
bathroom break. They did not,
Ivan said, but that must be awk-
ward during a first video—chat
date, and what would you do if
someone took— the laptop into the .
bathroom to continue the conver-
sation?
Ivan said he’s been on about
five to 10 dates in which he has
either walked with or sat outside
with someone he found online.
He hasn’t remained: in contact
with any of them, but he said,
he’ll probably talk to the singer/
songwriter again. He’s had about
15 to 20 instances of chatting
online with a potential match,
but it’s like fishing. You get a few '
By KIRK
ERICSON
nibbles, you hook a few, and very
few make it into the boat.
‘ Sticking with the fishing
theme, to attract the type of fish ,
you’re trying to hook, you have
to tailor your bait to the fish you
seek. Just like anglers
have their woolly bug-
gers and curly tail grubs,
online dating has its
methods of attracting
the fish you desire. You
might try posting some of
these lures:
I Sapiosexual: One'
who finds intelligence at-
tractive or arousing.
I Pansexual: Gender-
blind sexual attraction to
all people.
I Demisexual: Sexually at-
tracted to someone based on a
strong emotional connection.
I Poly: Seeking relationships
with more than one partner si—
multaneously.
I Ethically nonmonogamous.
This one is when all parties are
appraised and give full consent to
whatever activities are scheduled
— or arise — in the course of said
activities. ~ v
Thicc: body type (the new
curvy).
ONS: One—night stand.
Bae: term of endearment to-
ward loved one.
“I have to go to urban diction-
ary a lot,” Ivan said.
In the interest of journalism, I
went to match.com and set up an
account. The first question I was
asked was “Hi, Kirk. Ready to get
real?”
I answered a question about
height, and then was asked about,“
my body type. Several options
were offered, but I was torn be-
tween “slim/slender” and “aver-
age,” until I remembered a George
Carlin quote someone sent me last
week: “Think of how stupid the
average person is, and realize half
of them are stupider than that.”
' I clicked “slim/slender.”
Then I uploaded a picture of
our dearly departed family dog
and concluded by answering a
prompt:
For fun I like to: Constantly
dwell on every mistake I’ve ever
made, and I’m looking for some-
one who enjoys same. Must not be
repelled by toe fungus.
So far, no nibbles.
I Contact KirkEricson at
kirk@masoncounty.com.
Winnflilaawmn‘iy ileum-nail
USPS 492-800
POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Shelton—Mason
County Journal, PO. Box 430. Shelton, WA 98584.
The Shelton-Mason County Jour-
nal is a member of the Wash-
ington Newspaper Publishers
Association.
GUEST COLUMN
Sports needed more than ever
ver since I was lucky enough to
E become the executive director at
the Washington Interscholastic Ac-
tivities Association, I’ve told our
staff and'membership that we are
in the memory-making business.
Those memories can be made in
any town, large or small, in any
sport or activity, at a midweek
practice, a senior night, or a state
championship final.
As a former coach and teacher,
I had the opportunity to be a part
of those memories and I’ve seen
firsthand that high school is de-
fined as much by what you learn
outside of the classroom as what
you learn inside it. .
Coaches and athletic directors, along
with those of us at the WIAA, have long
championed the value of education-based
athletics and activities. Everyone" has
heard how competition can build; charac-
ter, teach discipline and life lessons, and
connect students with peers and their
communities. These are more than just
talking points or “coach-speak” because
now, in the absence of these extracur-
' ricular activities, it has never been clearer
how much they are needed.
Parents can see the outsized toll this
sudden change in life has taken on our
kids. It has diminished our sense of joy,
created anxiety over our safety and well-
being, and stolen what will soon be a full
year of our lives. While there is conclusive
evidence about the physical dangers of
this virus among certain age groups and
demographics, the Governor’s Office and
Department of Healthmust factor in the
effect restrictions have on our students’
By MICK
HOFFMAN
mental and emotional health.
A University of Wisconsin study found
in July that about 68% of 3,243 student-
athletes surveyed, which included
Washington students, reported
feelings of anxiety and depression
at levels that would typically re-
quire medical intervention. That
was a 37% increase from prepan-
demic levels.
We are fighting a— disease we
have never seen before and one
we know little about. This fall,
schools in Washington chose not
to offer sports and activities in
accordance with the governor’s
recommendation. At the time,
we had little information on the risk of '
extracurricular activities in relation to
COVID-19. Now, research from around
the country allows us to make decisions
on real data.
The University of Wisconsin found
that, in a sample of 30,000 high school
athletes, only 271 COVID cases were re—
ported, with 0.5% of those cases traced to
sports contact.
In New Jersey, EDP Soccer managed
10 youth soccer tournaments in the state
as well as multiple soccer leagues along
the East Coast. In 18,500 games, no COV-
ID cases were attributed to participation.
Right here in Washington, Seattle
United Soccer Club had 1,930 boys and
girls participate in its programs this sum-
mer for two months of training. In total,
two of those players contracted the virus
and both of those came from community
transmission, outside of sport.
see SPORTS, saéé’A—E
[____
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