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Newspaper Archive of
Shelton Mason County Journal
Shelton, Washington
December 28, 1978     Shelton Mason County Journal
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December 28, 1978
 
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Jo u OPINIOI00. All the answers If /tr t'qmes°,?nSsWne;ts°m:d,mtr:qU;srbTlfrtrr:adi with last year s Christmas cards. Q - What is computer language? liiiiJ this nthe newssspaper bysine&s it lo-oks somet$ing , , , II= Q -What was the most popular item bought by parents this Christmas? A - Batteries. It is estimated by the Retail Merchants of North America Association that the average family with 2.4 children purchased 8.7 batteries while Christmas shopping and 64.2 batteries on Christmas day. Q - It's Pepsi to the Russians and Coke to the Chinese. Who will get Nehi? A - It's Nehi to a grasshopper, of course. tO tO tO tO Q -- Isn't there Something that can be done about creeps who steal Christmas lights and vandalize holiday displays? A - Yes. tO tO tO * Q - My husband and me bougth our son a book for Chrismas and was horifide to fine out he can harley read nor rite. I guess they dont teach them nothing the way they did wen we was in scool, Whut should we do? A - Fone the principull of your suns school and set up a apointmunt to talk about your sons teecher. Good iuk. tO tO * tO Q - It's Pepsi to the Russians, Coke to the Chinese and Nehi to a grasshopper. Who will get Hires? A - It's Hires to you, of course. tO tO tO * Q -- Governor Ray promised to cut back on state spending. Now she has prepared a proposed budget of $10.2 billion, an increase of more than 27 percent over the present budget. What gives? A - What gives is that the governor knows more about economics and government than you do. If she says that the way to cut costs is to spend 27 percent more money, then it must be so. She has been in office two years. How long have you been in office? She has access to experts who wouldn't even speak to you on the street, let alone tell you the secrets of saving the taxpayers' money by spending more of it. They have undoubtedly shown her how to save money by buying wholesale in larger lots. For instance, if you need one building that costs $20 million, but can get three buildings for $19 million apiece from a friend, you have spent $57 million but have cut back state : " ': ' " " "' e " ...... ' ; :spendmg a €ool $!,19n qn th building y. Thats 'n* e of the wd#'s*'enment economlstg'fi'ffitve your money. So stop asking dumb questiOns and leave budget-making to campaign supporters and marine biologists who understand stuff like that. tO tO • * Q - How can I break my husband of giving me presents he wants instead of something I want. I asked for a ntembership in the Vegetable of the Month Club for Christmas and he gave me a silk negligee. A - Hide your makeup and tell him you won't bring it out until he listens to you. tO tO. * * Q - We eat most of our meals out, but on holidays I'm stuck with preparing a big meal for a bunch of unappreciative gluttons. Why don't the fast-food restaurants offer a turkey dish for such occasions? A - You are about to be set free. A leading chain restaurant will introduce an item called Turkey McDressing in time for next year's Thanksgiving trade. It will consist of soy bean turkey substitute, simulated cranberries, mock dressing with petroleum-base gravy, reconstituted pickle, sesame seed bun, and a $27 million television advertising campaign. Q - I understand Senator Barry Goldwater is suing President Jimmy Carter. What is the nature of the suit? A - Goldwater claims Carter did not have the right to dig a hole through the earth to China. The Senator and other members of the China lobby are fearful that pigtailed Chinamen will now build a ladder, crawl up the hole, and snatch the cream of American womanhood off the streets for service as white slaves. tO tO tO tO Q - It's Pepsi to the Russians, Coke to the Chinese, Nehi to a grasshopper and Hires to you. Who will get Shasta? A - It will stay put, on page twelve of the big silver song book. Shasta Song at Twilight will never be surrendered to those who threaten the American way of life. 91re lour.al County" J" " (7, Founded 1886 by Grant C. Angle Mailing Address: Box 430, Shelton, WA 98584 Phone 426-4412 Published at 227 West Cota Street, Shelton, Mason County, Washington 98584, weekly. Second-class postage paid at Shelton, Washington Member of National Editorial Association Member of Washington Newspaper Publishers' Association SUBSCRIPTION RATES: $8.00 per year in Mason County, $10.00 per year in State of Washington $15.00 per year out of State EDITOR AND PUBLISHER ..................... Henry G. Gay Page 4 - Shelton-Mason County Journal - Thursday, December 28, 1978 A r:t0000sH 00'r00RT E@/R'A00ID lSP.mL @ l-00l.Tl00l oi, I P00Y'r00 opE. c 15 00EI00iFU6 How LAtCh A pain in the computer A couple checked into one of the new Detroit hotels and left a 7 a.m. wake-up call. But being an early riser, the husband was Up long before 7, and decided he'd go down to breakfast and let his wife sleep late. He called the hotel switchboard, explained the situation, and said he'd like to cancel the wake-up call. "Sorry, sir," the answer came, "but we can't do that. It's in the computer and there's no way to get it out now." A reporter phoned a congressional committee and asked to speak to the staff director. He was told the director wouldn't be in that morning; there'd been a power failure at his home. Well, the reporter persisted, that was certainly too bad, but just why did a power failure prevent him from coming to work? "He can't get his car out of the garage," the secretary explained. "The garage doors are electronically controlled." Progress: Those wonderful advances in technology that leave the world only slightly more snafued than before. We've come to accept the way a modem office grinds to a halt when the copy machine is on the fritz. Or the computerized magazine subscription list that takes only four times as long to make a change of address. And it's that same computer that starts spewing out renewal notices six months before your subscription is due to expire. Then there are the form letters like one that was sent to the "News Desk, Wall Street Journal," and led off, "Dear Mr. Desk... " ...... We won't eten' go into the new dtrugs, operations and llllllllilllllli Mack McGinnis' Comedy0000Comrnent lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Dei Bixler writes: "Our 1937 graduating class of Lapel, Indiana High School had a reunion during the summer and this year both of us showed up. In Lapel, we used to have to throw a bone in the road to get the Greyhound bus to stop." (Bill Copeland in Sarasota Journal) Betty Ford certainly looks nice. She's had cosmetic surgery and this could start a trend. Her husband Jerry is thinking of having a pardon removed from his record. (Mark Russell in Omaha World Herald) Phyllis Cosnotti heard about a church bulletin that had some announcements placed this way: Sermon: "What Makes God Tired?" Dr. Emerson and the Choir. ,, (Joe Browne in Pittsburg Post-Gazette) "Television," says W. A. Clarke, "enables people with nothing to say to talk to people who aren't listening." (Red O'Donnell in Nashville Banner) Seen on the back of a car by Eamie Hoberecht: Promote beef. Run over a chicken. (Wayne Mackey in Oklahoma City Times) health regimens that turn out to be more dangerous than the illness. Computers are a favorite villain in progress scare stories. But they aren't the only villains, to be sure. Everyone has seen the bizarre scene of a dozen people down on hands and knees searching the pavement or the grass or a tennis court for a lost contact lens. But we know of one woman who announced she was having trouble seeing out of one eye and was off to the optometrist. Half an hour later she was back, giggling. Seems that the night before, she'd put one contact lens on the top of the other in the case where she kept an extra lens. That morning she had unwittingly put two lenses in one eye. High schools have been built with windows that don't open. When the air conditioning fails on a hot day, students are given the day off. Last fall, when the nation moved back to standard time, a young friend was appalled to find she had to turn her time-and-date digital watch ahead 30 days and 23 hours. Another man had his car battery go dead while his power windows were down - and then the rains came and poured in while he was parked alongside the highway to await help. Then there's Our society's rush to credit cards. They're convenient all right. But just try to check into a hotel announcing you prefer to pay cash rather than use a credit card. Scorn, suspicion, hostility; un-Ameriean,, if not downright communistic. Once upon a time, you could look at a postmark and see exactly where and when it had been at a post office. Now, not only does the postmark deny you some or all of this occasionally useful infommtion, but it insists on selling you something instead: "National Guard Month - Gain Skills by Serving" or "Save Energy - Turn Off the Lights." We're sure someone - somewhere - is working on a solution to many of these problems. And we're equally sure those solutions will create their own problems. That's progress - we think. The Lapeer County Press Brainy bumpkins Farmers in Minot, North Dakota are trying to beat the federal dam builders at their own game. Construction of a $100 million dam is being considered to protect farmers and the town of Minor from frequent flooding by the nearby Souris River. Some 50 farmers, unhappy about the plan that would flood their land permanently, are going to make it difficult for the government to buy the land needed for the dam. According to Rural America News Service, the farmers have subdivided one acre of the land into 4,840 parcels, one square yard each. The postage-stamp plots sell for $20. At least a thousand plots have been sold, and the farmers hope the government will hog-tie itself in its own red tape trying to buy up each parcel. N N TW[flTl[S FIFTIES ' HUNDRtl)S "' 00OUR ¢1101([ or THR[& BI[AUTI[UI, DF, ltOHINATION$ Capitol 00Dome: Plenty of signatures for Initietive 62 By ROBERT C. CUMMINGS chamber. Most of them It took a frantic sprint in the to property taxes. stretch, but sponsors of Initiative One Paves the Way 62, the tax control bill, have One proposed co] gathered enough signatures to amendment sets the beat the December 29 deadline, changing the article on This is the measure which give the Legislature full would limit tax increases to a enact any property tax percentage of the state's annual sees fit. i:: income averaged over the three Having bipartisan su preceding years. Sponsored by appears certain to at least Representatives Ellen Crasweil the Senate, and should (R., Bremerton) and Ron Dunlap good chance of also (R., Bellevue), it is an initiative approval in the House to the Legislature. Another prop Up to Voters constitutional am After the Secretary of State Donohue and Scott, checks the signatures for validity, provide some the initiative will be certified to tax increases by both houses of the Legislature. constitutional ceiling on The lawmakers can either enact debt. it into law or let it go to the Another member November, 1979 ballot for and Means Committee, decision of the voters. (Slim) Rasmussen (D., Because it is sponsored by has submitted a pro Republicans, and Democrats constitutional control the Senate while the limit state spending. House is evenly divided, the It would prohibit measure probably will go to the Legislature from ballot, money for state A Chain Reaction excess of the estimated for the corresponding fiscal) But it could have a lot of It replaces a much company. The measure has proposal which Rasmussen triggered a host of other tax had pret'ded earlier but relief measures, most of them in withdrew. the Senate and, for the most part, sponsored by Democrats. Extending the Lid Several are proposed A bill offered by Don constitutional amendments. If Odegaard, Matson and any of these get a two-thirds would extend the 106 majority in each house, they also lid to state levies must be submitted to the voters schools. next year. And one pre They don't conflict with the Rasmussen would gra Initiative, however, so besides exemption on the first putting a lid on taxes, the voters of the assessed valuation may have a chance to emblazon residence occupied by a some of the tax relief into the person. Any retired constitution. There are also some 62 years old would be tax relief bills in the upper regardless of income. tt00ze l/ew00 By BILL CARRIGAN Alcoholism Counselor Editor's note: On September 6 of this year, Bill over the position of coordinator/counselor of the Youth Awareness Program for the Thurston and Mason Alcoholism Council (TAMARC). He began coming to Shelton in early on a once-a-week basis. Bill was a musician in his teen years, he played with a 14 years following high school graduation. Along the attended college in California, Florida, Alaska and Washin now owns a master's degree from Seattle University and is alcohol studies from the same institution. He has worked alcoholism program director in Alaska and an outreach for the Kittitas County Alcohol program. While in these Bill wrote a weekly newspaper column entitled "Booze NEWS. this issue, the Journal begins publication of the column on a basis. "I believe the most important service we can provide to County residents is accurate information about alcohol, and drug dependencies," states Carrigan. 'q'here are so misconceptions concerning the subject of alcoholism that most wouldn't know an alcoholic if they smelled one. That TAMARC is expanding its services to offer the 'Booze News' drug and alcohol education programs for the schools and teacher and school counselor training, consultation and individual counseling for chemically dependent people families." I have a strong feeling a lot of people think that because 1 with problem drinkers I am against drinking altogether. This from the truth. If I could drink in moderation, and not get into trouble drink, I might still be drinking. But I did get into trouble. left me. I lost some good friends, a good job, did time in health problems, wrecked more than one ear, got into fightS.'" a lot more. My excessive use of alcohol directly resulted in all of I kept denying I had a problem, yet I kept getting into I drank. I kept insisting I could stop anytime I wanted to, didn't stop. I insisted that I would control my drinking behavior while drinking, but I didn't control anything. controlled me. When I finally realized I needed help, I was too ashamed for it. I didn't want anyone to see me going to a community center, or going to an AA meeting. It didn't seem to bother someone saw me "falling down drunk," or making a fool of or speeding wrecklessly through town with no concern about over a child, or fighting over something that really didn't difference. I just didn't want anyone to see me trying to set Thank goodness, I finally got that false pride out of enough to ask for help. Life has been a great deal more since I got the "booze monkey" off my back. But you need not go as far as I did. There are other symptoms of a drinking problem which make themselves sooner. I will be discussing some of them at a later date. If you drink without it causing problems, well, "Here's If, however, you are experiencing alcohol related would be glad to talk with you about them in complete coo My services are available for families of problem drinkerS, If you would like more information, call either the alcoholism office on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday or between 9 and 4, or the Olympia office on weekdays 5. The Shelton number is 426-9550 and Olympia, 943-8510.